• Nothing. I'm back to looking dazed and fucking sick of looking at myself in the fucking mirror. I'm fuckling sick of the daily grind, I'm fucking SICK of acting like this is fucking me. I'm sick of being good. I'm sick of doing good. I'm sick of everything.
  • I can fucking smell it, I can fucking smell it, and I want to fucking cry. I can imagine the burning sensation in my brain, I can fucking smell it... I'll never be that fucking happy again...
  • I'm sick of hearing the bullshit, "but you're doing so good, you'll be happier this way", when I hear that I just want to fucking screech at them, "FUCKING BULLSHIT, FUCKING BULLSHIT, IT'S NOT FUCKING HUMANLY FUCKING POSSIBLE."
  • When you open up your whatever happiness receptors by 1000x the norm, or when you're so numb everything that is shit in this world is blocked out, for 3 days, 2 days, a week, 20 minutes... there's nothing like it. When you give that up because you're killing yourself and hurting everyone around you- is there really a chance to ever be happy again? You know the unobtainable high. It will fucking haunt you forever. You simultaneously beg for relaspe or death. You want to forget but it makes you who are, or at least it helps you realize who you don't want to be anymore.
oct 6 2015 ∞
oct 7 2015 +