vulgar, yeah maybe, but entertaining.

• (216): ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
• (432): I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
• (559): Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
• (337): Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
• (703): BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
• (980): you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
• (603): GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED (1-603): I feel like half our conversations start this way.
• (402): meow (1-402): WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
• (612): i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn (952): what? (612): i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
• (619): DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
• (336): Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
• (905): Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
• (402): You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out? (1-402): WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
• (561): you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
• (709): you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
• (585): Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
• (858): I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
• (484): then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
• (352):my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
• (414): You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
• (910): so just in case you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
• (251):Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"