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• i watched a drunk man punch his dog in face, because it refused to speak
• i attended a shit show new years eve "christmas tree burning" party with all three generations of the host family present sharing the same hennessy straight from the bottle
• i was publicly told to watch my language twice
• opening a small generic container and removing a pill, an office depot employee reminded me to "never eat these" before pointing me towards the printer paper
• unfortunately, my fascination of public study spaces extended to the vestavia hill public library on more than one occasion
• apple TV took my soul and won't give it back
• i have repeatedly referred to my father as "man child"
• i think i am going to study abroad in london instead of berlin
• i felt the tension as my friends and i rented a hand gun with a chinese passport
• it is still unclear to me the point in which a slumber party transitions from innocent to gay

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