• Did you know Filipino boys are good dancers? That means I'm a good dancer. Jasper too.
• 1st grader doing science: I can't believe I'm touching real grass!
• first grader to me: you know a weiner?

Me: pardon? Him: you know, a weiner. Me: what do you mean "a weiner"? Him: you know, your body part between your legs you use to go pee. (complete with hand motion) Me: well I don't have one because I'm a girl, but yes, I know what you are talking about. Him: really? You don't? Me: nope. Boys do, girls don't. Him: why? Me: it's just the way we're made. Him: ok. Well, is it bad to call it that? Me: it's not the nicest thing, but it's not the worst thing you could call it either. Him: oh, ok!

• Jason, a 3rd grader, is stuck on the problem 8 + 3.

Andrew (who has 6 fingers on one hand): Jason! Look! (holds up 4 & 4 on each hand) Eight, plus three more (adds two thumbs plus the extra one) How many fingers do I have?!?!

• 2nd grader #1: why isn't pluto a planet?

2nd grader #2: because it doesn't follow directions.

• 3rd grader #1: what's a pervert?

3rd grader #2: someone who's naked.

• 1st grader #1 while observing snails: look! they're in love!

1st grader #2: how do you know?1st grader #1: because that one's on top of the other one! (if only that meant love...)

• "I'm not going to get married until I'm really old... like 17." -3rd grader
• "Did you know, in the old days they made paint out of glue... and blood." -1st grader