I have two cats:

• Benco
  • Fat, misbehaved, friendly
• Luna
  • Skinny, scared, cuddly

Naughty things Benco has done:

• Eaten my aunts bread rolls from her shopping bag
  • She wasn't pleased
• Walked in paint and then all over the house
  • We could follow the trail to him
• Sits on the roof outside my window
  • Obviously the back door isn't a grand enough entrance for him
• Runs out the front
  • And hides under the car
• Drinks out of the toilet
  • He thinks he's a dog.
• Unrolls the toilet roll
  • He likes to make a mess.
• Drunk out of my glass
  • Pushed me out the way to get to it!

Luna doesn't do naughty things but she does:

• Only sit on your lap if you put a cushion there first.
  • She acts quite posh.
• Sit very neatly
  • In the exact centre of the room
  • Or around the edges
• Like it when you massage her head
  • Her eyes go funny
• Likes attacking you
  • If you poke your finger through the stairs
  • And then pretending she didn't
• She likes being outside
  • And making friends with beetles
• Sleeping in the biggest cat bed
  • Even though she's the smallest
  • This means Benco sleeps in the small bed or the washing basket...with his teddy bear.