i felt like i did a pretty shitty job all around god damn it its your final high school exam and you blew it god damn it whats wrong with me. now i feel like letting my parents down so bad and i feel douchey but god damn it why did existential crisis hit me like right now????????????? i mean i still dont know what to do with my life and i havent applied anywhere wat is life siriusli like wat. i juz i juzt i feel like such a failure and i spent loads money like really why do you do this to me i feel so not like me and i lose myself everyday and i keep on losing friends not because of them but bcs of me bcs i got tired and distant myself like really this is the type of person i am and I DONT KNOW i just how do you change yourself its not easy and im that person who strays away although youve been so nice to me its just me and my insecurities i :( i hope for the best and get a decent results i mean i hope i still maintain my result but thats highly improbable i did crap so i just hope to get decent score and pass hopefully i just want to atleast make my parents feel worth it i really am a stubborn and freaking difficult child i am horrible i feel bad god why am i even here