lately i've been thinking about myself. about who i am as a person and those that surround me. i've come to slowly accept myself, i've come to terms with who i am. awkward, shy and introverted. i am not at all comfortable with people, even people that i've known for a long time. i realize that rather than forcing myself to become someone i'm not, i just need to let time slowly build me up. the difference between me a year ago and me now, i'm slowly gaining confidence in myself. sure i have 99.9% bad days, especially when i'm back in brisbane, but whenever i come back home.. i feel rejuvenated. i feel like myself again. i feel loved. even though i'm alone, i'm not lonely. i have my family with me. i think thats what i'm missing... craving... a sense of home. the people that make you feel at home.

i know how to be presentable. i'm still learning about it, especially makeup and doing my hair (the mane it is) but i can honestly say that i'm not afraid of showing my whole face. i used to hide behind my hair. i know that i use concealer but it comforts me knowing that. if it makes me feel more confident about myself than why not?

i'm also learning to do things for others. i've never felt like i have before. now i understand more about compassion. i care for my parents. i care for my friends.

i hope to continue this journey. being more positive, building up my spirit. its a slow process, but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end.