i guess thats the culture? i keep complaining but i know its my fault. i never really do anything to change it. i decided that this is not the life for me, and that i would like to move somewhere else. my friend's new relationship bothered me more than i expected, i dont know how i should act. but i know its normal to feel this way. i hate everything here and i feel out of place. i always feel alone, i dont like it. im okay with being alone i love it, i need it. but loneliness, i cant handle it.