i have never felt so unhappy in my life before. its juat empty, like there's nothing more to life. i thought i would have felt more fun living here but it's just not the case. i feel so alone, just nothing. I feel bad because this was the choice i made. I own up to my decisions. It maybe just a wrong one, i guess my mom was right. I wasnt ready. I knew i wasnt. I just wanted to get out. But why? Now i start to question. Before i thought hey im going outside mu comfort One i like being alone anyways so whats the problem? Ugh. I just would hope things to be different. In a good way. Idk get some life adventures and experiences, meet someone. But who am i kidding im never going to find someone who likes me. Some guy idk its just i know i mean im never get one but its just like i dont know i guess i just hoped i mean i knew buy like idk the benefit of the doubt. I get sad because its me missing out on stuff, feel like im not living my adolescence life, i've never been a teenager i never i mean its just the little things. Get aways, adventures, anything really. Idk i would imagine these movie like moments that i want in life but i need to snap out of it bcs honestly thats not true. I guess not for me anyways.