26 07 06

• it gets really lonely sometimes. i want to form deeper connections and hug my friends and hold them.
• i must get rid of a lot more things. i've downsized a pretty good portion of my closet, but i still have stuff i don't need or that is simply taking up space.
• it's hard to come to terms with just how much i dislike myself. comparing myself to others is an awful habit of mine, one i'm not sure how to break. i want to feel happy with who i am and totally unmask.. i hide so many parts of me. i complain about people not 'seeing' me and then hide who i am... i do it to myself.
• i'll start therapy soon. thank god for that! i seriously have so much to talk about, i'll need to create a list.. can the day come any sooner??
• being eighteen has sucked so far. it's difficult to have a fun social life when you don't have an in person friend group (and are also mentally ill lmao). this is why i wish i lived in the city. :(
• my creative side has come back a lot these past few weeks. being free from a not-so-great relationship has done wonders for my mind. but now i need to pick up all the pieces of myself from said relationship.. i have my days.
• august will be kind to me! i will finally be able to drive MY car. MY. CAR. i am so grateful that i can say that!! hopefully make plans to see my friend, Dani. Also, there will be a powwow near the end of the month... What else... idkidk i'm sure more will come up. i'll be able to drive around so there's no way it will turn out to be too boring.

26 07 08

• today was tough again. losing your main source of comfort and the person you depended on emotionally is difficult. cried on and off.
• things to be grateful for today: my cat, my dear friends, the ability to wake up and sleep in whenever i'd like, my art skills, oranges, water, music, my mom, the rain.
• dr house is my comfort character right now.
• i finished an art piece today, i'm proud of myself. i like how it turned out.
• i started watching the boys. i went in pretty much blind, but i definitely was not expecting this! i am enjoying it so far, though.
• i deleted twitter from my phone. having it so accessible was actually melting my brain. hopefully i can delete tiktok next. i go on there looking for any little bit of distraction, and end up getting so annoyed at everyone's fakeness or unoriginality. it's social media though so, what can i expect?
• i'm going to start reading more. project hail mary to be read. i started reading the first chapter at the beach, i need to continue!
• address those boxes eventually.. please..
• i have rough ideas for ocs but i must artfight! artfight has been fun so far. it's been so nice to get back in the groove again! i'm learning a lot.

26 07 12

• the things i go through do not define me. i am more than my trauma.
• everything will work out.
• i saw limp bizkit and cypress hill on friday! such a great experience. definitely want to see them again.
• i've been so depressed all week. i don't know if it's because i'm on my period or if it's just my circumstances. maybe both.
• THINGS HAPPEN TO ME.
• my friends love me. they don't secretly despise you. you're overthinking it again!!
• impulsively shaved my eyebrows again. BYEBYE!

26 07 14

• i am a person