Research Methods of Psychology

• "Why aren't women fighting to participate in this study? Women should be like 'Hey, I wanna get violated too!' Wait, that didn't come out right." - on equality in research studies

History

• "They refused our kind offering of freedom...which we offered at gunpoint."
• "Habeus Copus. It's about Hay being a Corpus."
• "St. Petersburg is often called the Venice of the North. Although I don't think Venice has ever been called the St. Petersburg of the South."
• "You have to go interview hillbillies - excuse me, 'Peoples of the Soil."

Psych and Law

• "Think about it. Eating the body and blood of Christ and drinking the blood of birth? That's some strange shit!" - on cultural relativism of mental disorders
• "I didn't just fall off the psychology turnip truck. I deal with the mind, you deal with the shit." - on being told he had to go deal with the inmate who just rubbed shit all over himself
• "A guy can't just say 'I'm good to go Doc, I found Jesus, it's okay.'" - on criminals who go to a mental institution instead of prison and then try to get released

Sociology

• "Everything he touches turns to ugly shit." - on Donald Trump
• "Wanna see the video? Does this shit work?" - looking at the computer, dumbfounded, and getting tangled in the projector screen
• =D <---when his password worked
• "Why won't I be here? Cause I'll be having intercourse with somebody's mother."
• "I know you're not a prostitute, but I'm sure you had sex once and your boyfriend bought you McDonalds."
• "Here are the complex interactions that led you to say 'I'm going to take a shit.'"
• "Nick has spoken. He is the voice of God."
• "In the 1960s, I would be wearing a jacket and tie. Professors didn't come to school all fucked up like this."
• "Nah, not a maid, you're not gonna be making enough to have a maid... Oh wait, I shouldn't say that." - a substitute professor to one of the guys
• "The kid can't cry - before he thinks, the grandparents are running with every toy they have." - the same substitute prof on grandparents loving their grandchildren

English

• "What you gave me last week wasn't even good enough for my windows."
• "For lack of a better word, I'll say hello. Please, as if you have a long list of words to refer to. Why don't you just say 'Duh!'"
• "How are you supposed to feed two kids at ten dollars an hour? Why don't you just have dinner and put pictures of the food on the plate?"
• "...some nut with on eyeball on the bottom of his foot."
• "I had to use rubber gloves to hold this paper."
• "If you're not dealing with complication, you're dealing with 'UH'"
• "So many people cry to their teacher 'waaa, I need an A!' Ok you get an A, you still can't do the Mendoza quote."