Interviewer: "The Hacienda was an amazing sort of place. You must have great memories there." Wilson: "Yes yes, you do because you weren't paying for it. And you weren't dealing with the gangs and the nightmare but for me, well I once said to Bernard of New Order if you could press a button and the Hacienda never would have existed and he said show me that button." --Tony Wilson Interview

I once owned a night club (2004-2005). We showcased indie music, cabaret shows, dance nights, comedy, fundraisers, gourmet chefs, and work parties. It was fun but I sold the club. And I would NOT press the button. I loved it.

• I think I started off too strongly booking shows for every single night. I should have made weekdays dj nights. after I decided to sell the club I started booking weekdays for djs and noticed how much less stressed I was.
• drinking and driving. may seem like that would have been obvious beforehand but when night after night drunk people got into their cars, it weighed on me heavily. if I owned a club in new york things might have been different?
• relationship. adam and I were on a different schedule. he'd come home from work and I'd go into work. I felt distant from him even though he'd come into the club as much as possible. our relationship was a priority.
• drugs. either in and around the band room or in the club.
• location. we were in a strange spot and sometimes the sketchy-ness brought me down during the day hours alone there.
• being a bossy boss. when drinking, money, your friends and live music mix, it's hard to be authoritative. I had personal difficulty being "a boss" under those circumstances but I learned a lot.
• neighbor. simply put, we had an asshole neighbor to contend with and it stressed me out, especially when bands like comets on fire and wolf eyes played, though they also served as my revenge.
• money. Although we did extremely well for taking nothing and making it into something, and utimately broke even.
• life: no matter the money we invested or the pressure to remain, I think it's important to remember how brief life can be. I did not want to be in a profession where I didn't feel whole. it's a hard decision to make. I do not regret anything. in fact, I am so proud of myself for doing it and then making the right choice when I needed to. I'll always love that time period.
• IF: the club was in a relatively safe place, it functioned as a non-live music venue during the weekdays, had public transportation late at night, and adam and I could work into a good schedule, I might still be serving drinks :-)
• ultimately: I gauged that I would not be in the club business for long and so I decided the best thing to do was find a new owner before all the things I loved turned bad. I had an amazing time at the club and it brought together great people. so many fun nights and so many crazy ones. though I am so nostalgic over that year, I know I made the right choice and I am so grateful for the experience and the support! We had some incredible nights!

Favorite Memories:

• preacher: our local tap dancing eccentric who'd pop in and entertain --balancing crazy things on his head (like chairs) while tap dancing
• audra's tuesday night burlesque and cabaret shows and teh fancy older couple that would come every week
• joe: our whiskey drinking neighbor who came every night and who came as jesus on halloween. he really looked like jesus.
• the homeless man who came and danced under the spot light
• friends who played: lovemakers, marc (her space holiday), gold chains, film school, citizens here & abroad, dealership, fucking champs, faux fox, nat & sam & bart, boyjazz, death of a party, hard place, call and response, etc
• the ghetto gourmet nights (gourmet food and performances) with the chef who drank a lot and got into interesting fights w. his lady friend
• our big thanksgiving family potluck at the club. very special night.
• huge opening night with the burlesque show
• seeing adam do sound for bands
• adam says when yellow swans played
• the weeks we spent getting the mile high club ready --repholstering the benches, etc.
• adam says when the "analog heaven" synth meet up happened at the club and everyone brought their synths
• dave's blue cocktails
• the huge new years eve night i got to DJ. probably one of the most fun nights i've ever had
• when ratatat and prozac played
• cory: the crazy dancer who wore a superman shirt. that boy was always dancing.
• nights that matt, richard, james and andrea came to visit the club from out of town
• my crew: mike, dave, sarah, katie, drew (the cook), brooke, david, garo, chris f, nick, alex, gabrielle, and maria (the cleaning service gal i never saw).
• adam says when him, richard and andrea got stoned in the office before my silversun pickups birthday show. thanks silversun for driving up to play!
• when a homeless woman i took care of one evening returned with tons of korean beer as a thank you (she got it from the food bank?). and then dave sold it. too funny.
• when nick did bathroom repairs in his chicken costume
• the "classy" couple who always came to tuesday cabaret night
• nights scott and chris g bartended for me. i got to be their boss :-)
• "f**king frankie": a mexican guy who always came and got wasted but we never had any idea what he was saying
• when the fire department came on my first time away from the club because of a crazy burning man fire performance
• closing the club and friends staying for dance parties until 4am