— Will Smith on fatherhood

• If a man was not the best husband for you, it does not mean he is not a good father. (Also, doesn't mean he's not a good husband to someone else).
• If a man is not a great husband, he often loses his parental rights.
• You start fighting for your rights and the kid is in the middle. The kid loses.
• You’ll never win if you fight a kid's mother.
• Surrender.
• When they're 13 they’ll come look for you.
• There are cultural roadblocks to fathering.
• There have been historical and systemic hurdles to African American fatherhood.
• There is a necessity that mothers make room for fathers.
• Mothers have the kids. They’re yours. They came from your body.
• But, I can’t father if you don’t make room for me and you don’t support me.
• And you have to make room for me in my imperfections.
• You can’t say you’re going to make room for me if I get perfect cause I’m not perfect and I’m never gonna get perfect. And never will be. (Neither will you)
• Motherhood is the doorway to successful fatherhood.
• The mothers have to value fatherhood.

I have told friends not to say they "won" their custody battle because winning is losing for the child. We need to find different words and expand our definitions that are INCLUSIVE of the experience of the child and not just the parents.