my grandma, on my korean side, was killed in feb 2005 while walking to church early in the morning. she went everyday. a driver did not see her in the intersection because there was so much fog coming in from the ocean. i did not know my grandmother well. she came into my life later because she had disowned my mother for many years for marrying an american. later this was lifted and she moved to be near us. she did not learn english and i knew very few korean words, but we would sit and hold hands, often watching each other. we'd smile and point to things. i hoped to get to know her more over the years, but she is on another journey now...

• she was a devout catholic
• when she visited, i rented the film baraka for her because it's beautiful and there are no languages used in the film. she had no idea and i left it for her to watch while i was at work teaching. she loved it so much and watched it several times. i am now very happy i rented that film for her. it was a way to share an experience and meaning with her without having to speak.
• she sold her land in korea and gave the money to the church during the korean war
• i never met her husband (my grandfather) but i know he was a buddhist and they often fought over religious differences
• she lived very simply
• she liked to say bank of america to me in a sweet korean accent when we drove by one
• she made very good kimchi soup
• she built a shrine to jesus in her bedroom that was quite impressive
• when i went to the gardens at huntington library i purchased her a photo book on all the roses. it was one of her few possessions in her apartment.
• she would tell me i was pretty and i understood her
• she visited us in berkeley at the college house and adam made her a spectacular breakfast
• she came to my mills college graduation
• she loved gardens. i took her to the flower gardens in berkeley and oakland and she was so happy
• she blessed both of the cars i owned in a little prayer and also blessed the home we lived in at college ave
• she had a funny laugh and it made me really happy to hear it
• she went on a cross country train trip with my mom. i booked their hotels along the way and coincidentally placed them in K-town in new york. she was happy.
• my mother had a rough childhood with her, but they made amends and my mother took her grocery shopping and to dinner often. depsite their past, my mother was devestated when she passed on.