"The love between us carries on, evolving in ways it wishes to be known and lived. We free each other to be who we are learning to become." - Lisa Bonet & Jason Momoa

• Thankful for the work (very different work) we did to forgive. I learned to not reduce his life to his mistakes with me. And he learned how to let me go.
• Break-up pop songs can often be sung from an ex’s point of view as well. I surprised myself with the realization that I am imperfect too (which does not have to negate his mistakes but also doesn't make me the flawless angel).
• I will not be responsible for the version of me you created in your head.
• Thankful I got to know his new partner (and he knows James). We get to see the ways we were both able to grow with the different chemistry of other people.
• I love the shorthand and familiarity of our friendship, like a sibling I never had.
• I am trying not to divide others into “I hate them” and “I love them” but see how people embody both good and bad qualities (including myself). Yes, he wronged me on enough occasions for us to separate, but that is not the full picture of him. And some of those wrong-doings were a result of our particular chemistry.
• I promised myself that I would not romanticize and then denigrate men when they didn't meet my expectations. I make choices about compatibility every step of the way, and don't want to put all the blame on him because he fell short of who I wanted him to be. I over projected. I made choices. I was not a prisoner and that is the beauty of the choice everyone has to separate or stay together.
• Thankful for friends that supported feelings of growth (for me and him), not stagnation and stewing in old feelings tied to my ego, and did not choose sides, encourage hate, or project their own bad experiences onto my story.
• I am able to see how my resentments kept us from growing and communicating properly. Resentments are my responsibility.
• Love feels better than bitterness. Accountability feels better than blame. I tried to nurture other feelings in bitterness' place.
• The SAME relationship drama unfolding since the time of Shakespeare. Refreshing to see people separate with compassion, do some work to blend their families, (in this case, sharing our dog), and support each other in new versions of our lives.
• The more a memory is called upon, the more the memory becomes about me. Memory is a process of imagination, suggestion, and personal agenda. I’m not interested in living in the past because I have a healthy distrust of how I will reshape it with a heavy slant toward only my point of view.
• "What is good, What is bad" - looking at how so many hard things turned into good things and perhaps there is a correlation that allows me to embrace both the good and the bad. For example, I met James as a result of my break up.
• Sometimes, it's simpler and more truthful to say: "my damage next to their damage didn't work."
• If I don't believe in forgiveness and growth for others, then how can I believe in it for myself.
• “As I walked out the door that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness behind, I'd still be in prison.” - Nelson Mandela
• I was lucky to have the years we had (even with the hard stuff).
• “If we look back, we must do so forgivingly.” — Maya Angelou
• Life is too short, and there are so many truly bad people in the world, to not forgive someone I once loved.
• “Here's the thing about anger, when you're angry, you're just a character in someone else's story, but when you let your anger go, you reclaim it.”
• Simply, I want to feel love over hate.
• On the flipside, thankful for my connection with James' former partner. We are a great team for H. and that feels good.