- you have to have a villain in your head so you have something to fight against.
- Be kind to past versions of yourself who didn't know the things you know now
- Your greatest test will be how you handle people who mishandled you
- Don't choose what isn't choosing you
- Be mindful of your self talk because that's where you permanently live
- Healing also means taking responsibility in the role you play in your own suffering
- Everything happens for a reason and sometimes the reason is bad choices.
- "I don't want to live the wrong life before I die." - Station 11
- "It’s painful wanting something and not wanting it at the same time." - Scenes From a Marriage
- Intrusive thoughts aren't real. Don't follow them!
- The more a memory is called upon, the more the memory becomes about you. Memory is a process of imagination, suggestion, and personal agenda more than accuracy. The safest memories are the ones we never think of.
- Watching what the introduction of hormones does to my puppy and my step daughter makes me wonder how much we are who we are.
- Anger appears easier than love.
- Humans are destructive cruel beings to the ocean, planet, and animals. We are not a good species even with all the art we make.
- You'll know it's love if you're not afraid of them.
- When you reveal your pain to someone and they don’t hear any part of it, might be time for goodbyes.
- When something crazy has become normal, the solution will always sound radical.
- People will interact with characters from books, films, and people on social media with far more compassion than real humans in their lives.
- Life is like the Wizard of OZ. You must kill your bad witch while finding your brain, heart, courage, and home --uncovering how society is fraudulent (capitalism, rules, oppression) and you have had it all along.
- Sometimes it's just better to say, "my damage next to their damage didn't work."
- Be cautious of people whose first response is to punish.
- "What is good, What is bad" - looking at how so many hard things turned into the good things and perhaps there is a correlation that allows me to embrace both sides.
- If you don't believe in forgiveness for others you don't believe in it for yourself. Believing in redemption produces better people.
- If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else. - Rupaul
- Have a healthy distrust of the stories you have about yourself (and the ways you sell it to others).
- Be weary of those who excessively paint themselves as amazing through their "journey" minus their faults.
- A relationship is like the ocean. You start with the passion of enormous waves, storms, and swells, and then if right, you are left in a calm sea. The waves still there in tides and ripples that carry you.
- MUSIC: I can jump on the periphery of a mosh pit and feel the freedom and release the anger for all that’s fucked up in the world (misfits). I can sit in classical minimalism and fall into the depths of humanity and loneliness (arvo part). I can karaoke a pop song and feel the explosion of joy and femininity (florence and the machine). I can get to the floor with my ass, throw my hands up, and feel strength, sexuality, and the power of hip hop (dre). I can air-guitar and bang my head around to metal and its toughness (black sabbath). I can feel the air with my hands with dreamy happy-sadness and pull away cobwebs while dancing to gothy post punk (siouxsie). I can move in a sea of gay men sweating, claiming space, and bouncing to house music (robin s). I can let go to the improvisations of jazz and follow each note through every turn (miles davis). I can sit on the porch with lemonade and feel nostalgic and cozy with country (dolly parton). I can slide my feet along the floor, clap on the beat, and get close and funky with folks to soul (james brown). I can be a bit existential, intellectual, and ironic while swaying to indie rock (magnetic fields). I can tap my heel and feel the overwhelming history of america and the warmth of the blues (lead belly). And the list goes on…I think this is empathy, traveling into different corners of human experience, standing in so many emotions on the spectrum and immersing your spirit, letting go of who you are to enter into another space of existence? I love letting go and being someone else for a while. I love expressing all these notes: masculinity, sexuality, tenderness, joy, freedom, power, darkness, love, loss, anger. I love music. I love dancing with you.
- There must be more to life than just having everything. Consummate consumption and instant gratification may be the Kool-Aid of capitalism, but doesn't say you have to drink it. And if you do, don't be surprised that you're depressed, prone to despair, and given to the belief that everything you ever wanted doesn't matter. And it simply isn't enough. To deal with the question of a meaning to life is one that burns under the fingernails of anyone inspired to find significance in the art of living. And the attempt to anesthetize that inspiration by diversions and the pursuit of stuff is to be duplicitous to one's own soul. One of the principal diversions hardwired into capitalism is the tireless pursuit of success. Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it, the more you make it a target, the more you're going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued. They must ensue, and the only do so is the unintended side effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or is the byproduct of one surrendering to a person other than oneself? Happiness must just happen. The same holds for success. You have to let it happen by not caring about it. Listen to what your conscience commands you do and try to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. You will find out, if you live long enough, that success will follow you precisely because you’d forgotten to think about it. How one succeeds in not yielding to the dark part of the human soul is a balancing act. — Mother Flawless Sabrina
- what I want in my life is to be willing to be dazzled... Mary Oliver
- “Life is tragic simply because the earth turns and the sun inexorably rises and sets, and one day, for each of us, the sun will go down for the last, last time.Perhaps the whole root of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems, taboos, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races, armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death, the only fact we have. It seems to me that one ought to rejoice in the fact of death–ought to decide, indeed, to earn one’s death by confronting with passion the conundrum of life. One is responsible for life: It is the small beacon in that terrifying darkness from which we come and to which we shall return.”
- “We’re hurdling through time and space and information faster and faster, seeking that network connection. But at the same time we’re falling away from our families and ourselves. We ego-surf and update our status. But the cure won’t stick. The internet…..that shadow world to which people apply with a need to escape from themselves, to remake their identities on the cheap, to shine buttons in public. The internet can be many things, of course. Too often it is a cesspool of distraction, a place where we indulge in the modern sport of snark and schadenfreude, building the case for our bigotries. But the lurking dream of all of us is that we might someday confess to our own suffering, that we might find someone who will listen to us, who will not turn away in the face of our revelations.”
- “Some babies come from people who needed each other for something … to be loved, to be seen.” – Queen & Slim
- “The problem with a person having a lack of love is that they don’t know what it looks like. So it’s easy for them to get tricked. To see things that aren’t there.” – The End of The F***king World
- THE MOST TERRIBLE THINGS ABOUT LIFE IS FINDING IT GONE
- “When a person is “often angry”, it is a telltale sign that they secretly feel they are “never good enough”, and they must use anger, exasperation and eye-rolling to shield this painful inner wound. And while anger is not a bad thing by itself, it can quickly cross over into a pattern of unhealthy abuse of oneself and others, when it is also accompanied by a single, powerful factor: fear. The fear that, “if I am EVER proven wrong or weak in any way, then I will NOT be worthy of love.” In other words, the Angry One has a powerful and deep-seated feeling that she is loved only conditionally: that she will ONLY be worthy of love as a person, if she is totally invulnerable, perfect and “never wrong” - something which is impossible to attain, exhausting to pursue, and ultimately leads to the further wounding the people around you.”
- Life is emptying yourself
- “We are so vulnerable to being hurt that we are given the capacity to DISTORT to protect ourselves. People who are happiest are the ones lying to themselves the most. The people who are the most realistic and see the world actually as it is tend to be a bit more depressed than others. Research shows time and time again that depressed people lie less. They see all the pain in the world and how horrible people are with each other, and they’ll tell you everything about themselves, what their weaknesses are, and what they’ve done wrong.” —quoted from a beautiful podcast by Radiolab on DECEPTION.
- “Distrust everyone in whom the impulse to PUNISH is powerful.“ — Nietzsche
- Midnight Gospel Mouse is Silver Episode 8
- Be open to forgiveness, redemption, and change…because if you don’t believe in that for others then you will not believe it to be true for yourself.
- Forgive yourself for all the ways you've tried to survive!
- In this life you practice loving God by perfecting one human relationship...unconditional love
- For it is every bit as important in life to understand who you are NOT, as to understand who you ARE.
- all things are true…things are not always right or just…but an open heart can see how all things are true. rather than sorting life, live in it.
- life is a terminal condition
- When someone is in a shame frenzy, they are dangerous.
- Joy is the most vulnerable emotion of all the emotions. And if you can't experience joy then you absolutely can't experience gratefulness. --brene brown
- When you cannot ask for help without self judgement, then when you offer other people help you are always doing so w/ judgement.
- don't live your fears...
- we are all sinners...that is why the eye judgmental eye is very tricky
- all encounters are a reunion
- not seeing the goodness in others is lacking generosity
- promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate
- not "what's wrong with you" but "what happened to you"
- we've empowered everyone else's version of ourselves
- you are not your stories
- you are good
- we are not perfect beings falling from grace...we are imperfect beings trying to reach it
- You should not rank suffering...and compassion is for all.
- Allow yourself to feel deeply enough to be transformed.
- With every thought of judgement think: not always so.
- Opinions are not achievements so don't act as such.
- The world will offer so many things to enjoy or find happiness in. You don't have to choose what others choose. Embrace what makes you happy...and smile at what makes others happy...for their lives are as brief as yours.
- Rule your own spirit.
- If you have ever disliked someone else's way of being, you might consider how something in you might bring about that behavior, trigger it.
- Don't be dismissive of anyone or any group. Do not negate. Try to understand the complexities of who they are and why they are the way they are. From there, compassion.
- People change in the world through love, understanding and encouragement, not negativity and judgement.
- You earned your life through hard work so be happy in it. Don't punish yourself for good things in your life but share your good things with others as often as possible through charity or friendship.
- Misery is easy and a comfortable path for the brain. Happiness takes work.
- People often don't create because they're afraid of criticism. Don't play it safe. It's easy to sit back and criticize. Non-creators love to rip apart the work of others.
- Your life is mostly the sum of your decisions.
- Whatever you will show me, I want to see. Struggles, loves, fears, beauty...
- Don't be jaded.
- There's something to sympathize with in all of our struggles to be happy.
- Do not claim any titles for yourself.
- Attachment to anything is selfish. Even attachment to the ideas of your self.
- Anything can be misused for intoxication, not just substances.
- Think of the exceptions to all your judgements...there's the opportunity to evolve in your thinking.
- Do what makes you happy and let others do what makes them happy too.
- Labeling others, making them as "other" in your mind, negates them and negates the possibilities in your own life.
- In humility there is no self-interest no judgment no boastfulness no self-hate no competition.
- You do it or have probably done it too...
- Keep your heart light so that the heaviness of love can be received from yourself and others.
- Forgive.
- If gained knowledge makes you feel superior to others, nothing was gained but a means to flaunt yourself.
- Avoid black and white. There are people in the money business who quietly perform great acts of philanthropy and there are people who position themselves as do-gooders who have nothing but self-interest or self-punishment in their hearts. Our greatest heroes could be flawed and those we judge may be altruistic at their core.
- Be careful how critical you are of all types of art. The more you love in art, the more you will love in others.
- It's okay to surrender.
- The task is not to seek love but to recognize all the barriers you have built against it.
- Recognize your role in everything and you will see your personal power and have more compassion for the dynamics created with others.
- It's easy to be thankful when you get what you want...the key is to be thankful much earlier than that.
- Change what you do, not what you have.
- Avoid grasping views. They bring suffering to you and others.
- Do not morph into the people around you.
- Desire brings suffering.
- Allow just enough vanity...between arrogance and self-hate.
- The present is the most vulnerable of all places to be...and this is why we sometimes fear it.
- Avoid looking for ways to validate yourself (your opinions, your intellect, your looks). If you have love for yourself, you do not need validation.
- Zen practice is hard in a world where others are not in practice.
- Try to say yes to as much as you can!
- Repeated annihilation of the self is where our indestructible self lies.
- The thoughts you wrap yourself in you will wrap others in.
- Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth within yourself.
- Everything does matter, minutiae in nature teaches us this.
- Attach action to your dreams.
- In the hardest of experiences, find value where it has taught you compassion.
- The fearful deal with consequences while the brave make choices.
- We reject others throughout our lives and must learn to weather when we too are rejected.
- What we sometimes want for ourselves is disguised in what we distain in others.
- Visit others on their timeline of learning and do no judge them for they are.
- Avoid over saturating others with your emotions.
- At all costs, do not feel superior to others.
- Reserve judgements for true evil-doers.
- Maintain balance between vanity, love, money, work, play, health, and friendship.
- We are born and die alone. Build a foundation under yourself that is not destroyed by events or others, only rattled.
- Love is a choice not an obligation.
- No one has to be wrong for you to be right.
- Taking responsibility is not taking blame.
- Soften yourself with others by accepting the beauty and complexity of human chemistry.
- Externalize your negative self.
- String together happy events.
- Don't desensitize to the goodness of life when it is quiet.
- We stand alone in a river with people and things flowing toward and around us…nothing is ours to latch onto.
- Remember yourself at your happiest and saddest. Both are you. Do not define yourself as one or the other.
- Do not intoxicate yourself with negative emotions.
- Meaning is not found in anything constantly changing. Human relationships are not the sole meaning behind our lives.
- Your eyes are projectors more than receptors.
- Anger is a poison you drink expecting the other to get sick.
- We accept the love we think we deserve.
- Be brave enough to ask for help.
- Wanting to be liked is a vain trait.
- There is opportunity in the absence of how you see someone or something.
- Don't compare your insides with someone else's outsides.
- It takes time to dishevel the leaves and create new pathways and behaviors in the brain.
- There is no fixed self.
- An epiphany is not the same as a new learned behavior. Epiphanies happen in a moment...learned behaviors happen with thoughtfulness practiced over years.
- Humility is the sign of a quality education both institutionally and in life, lending itself to a quiet wisdom, rather than boastful knowledge.
- Enjoy everything.
- A life of insanity is better than a life of despair.
- You teach people how to treat you.
- When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
- It is very difficult to control feelings, and feelings themselves hurt no one, but you.
- Stop the storyteller of your left brain and reestablish the dominance of your right brain.
- Be brave enough to live your own life and stop apologizing for it.
- If you do things, do them well, even if it's only washing the dishes.
- Everything you are should empower you not destroy you.
- There is a voice inside you guiding you: listen.
- Life is a gift. Be humbled by it.
- Just by being alive and living in this culture you are commiting immoral acts each day. Understand your own sins before you begin with others.
- Believe in small miracles and coincidences.
- All you have is now.
- When you desire something with good intentions, all the universe will conspire to bring it to you.
- You have to let things go to let new things come into your life.
- Your thoughts "put an order into the universe" so be careful of what you wish for.
- Be optimistic, as a human race we are learning together. It will take some longer than others.
- Examine your intentions for doing everything you do.
- Forgiveness is being thankful for the experience and not forgiving is a form of self abuse.
- Mediocrity will attack excellence.
- We will be judged on how we treat the least among us.
- Do not let fears or dependency control your decisions.
- Action can create motivation.
- Be humble, grateful and compassionate.
- Keep an eye on your self destructive side as though it's a person sitting in the corner of every room you enter.
- You have "just enough problems". Keep perspective.
- We are not suppose to be happy all the time. What learning would come from this?
- We are not separate. We are connected.
- We are a way for the universe to see itself, perceive itself.
- All of us are on a heroic journey (Joesph Cambell) and all hero's will be tested. You are not put here infallible and perfect.
- Within the deepest abomination you can find an angel or a hero.
- You are not your thoughts.
- "God" doesn't want you to know the answer, not knowing is where art comes from.
- There is no "I" [I heart huckabees].
- When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares into you (nietzsche).
- Epiphanies become fair weather friends.
- Did my teenage self make decisions that my adult self is now living with.
- Don't blow up incidents.
- Be good friends with yourself and then you can be a good friend to others.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Whose voice is it in you and what is its purpose?
- Emotions come from every person you have been from your childhood to the present. Let them express themselves and then quiet them.
- Know when you have actually done something wrong versus making yourself wrong.
- If god gave you everything you asked for, would it be enough?
- No envy. No meanness.
- Avoid depressive rumination. This is just a recursive loop of woe.
- God made me good, but not yet... St. Augustine
- Fear creates sadness.
- Accept impermanence, suffering and egolessness.
- Practice recognizing impermanence everywhere, even in your pen running out of ink.
- Avoid identifying with victory or victomhood.
- "We like pleasure: We are attached to it. Conversely, we don't like pain. Second, we like and are attached to praise. We try to avoid criticism and blame. Third, we like and are attached to fame. we dislike and try to avoid disgrace. Finally, we are attached to gain, to getting what we want. We don't like losing what we have. According to this very simple teaching, becoming immersed in these four pairs of opposites- pleasure and pain, loss and gain, fame and disgrace, and praise and blame- is what keeps us stuck in the pain..."
- Accept and expect boredom in life, but do not let this become a condition.
- "Things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen."
- Human endeavors are a tornado you stand outside of...that tornado involves money, ambition, competition...it is a tornado that makes little difference to the universe or to the dead. It is only significant to the human species in their microcosm. Without you being there to keep yourself balanced, the tornado can consume you.
- We are born originals but die copies
- Don’t hold him accountable for your emotions
- Beat yourself with a feather not a bat
- Fucking wrestle with it all till you die
- We accept the love we think we deserve
- You want to perform a miracle? Forgive yourself!
- Detach from your inner judgmental mind
- Have a healthy distrust of your negative thoughts
- Be okay with forgiveness being a dimmer switch
- Don’t let your insecurities steal your joy
- Be more punk rock
- Feel sadness do not be sadness
feb 8 2007 ∞
nov 18 2022 +