Really need to start seeing myself in a better light. I tend to ruin myself over stupid shit that I know I shouldn't. For whatever reason I feel the way I feel, I also feel like I could just stop when I want. But I don't. Obviously I control my own actions but I can't help how I feel. Sometimes it really hurts but then I realize its been awhile. Its nothing I can't change, its nothing that won't change. However I don't want it to be something that I get used to. I don't want to be that way.