listography: mothguts

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the more time passes
the less i care about doing what’s right
i’m going to take what i want
i’ve tried so hard for so long to play by the rules
in hindsight maybe i thought god was watching and would reward me for my good behavior
i forgot that god made me to eat you alive

sep 24 2025 ∞
oct 18 2025 +

nov 7 2025 ∞
nov 7 2025 +

god i spoke entirely too soon
what a fucking loser
turns out they only liked when my expectations were low in the beginning
when i could be more easily impressed by grand gestures
they loved to tell everyone they were with me
and they’d all say “how did YOU pull THAT”
should’ve been my first sign to run
but when i actually required something substantial instead of just dinners and gifts
they had nothing to offer me
and to be honest i don’t even care
haven’t shed a single tear
they never fucked me well enough to make me cry

may 9 2024 ∞
jun 18 2024 +

jul 29 2022 ∞
jul 29 2022 +

i was thinking today about that feeling i spent so many years chasing
i thought it was a person i was chasing
but it was a feeling, really
it’s just that i believed that feeling could only be inspired in me by one person
and i really did believe that
i let myself be consumed by it and then i grew to hate it
eventually it faded from me entirely
and so did my will to live
that part i truly didn’t expect
i lost faith that i’d ever feel that alive again
i abandoned hope
but when i least expected it
the feeling started creeping back in
on a slow drip
i almost didn’t recognize it
but now it’s returned all at once

apr 23 2026 ∞
apr 23 2026 +

sep 24 2025 ∞
oct 18 2025 +