I think a lot of people don't realize how much I hate my life. the constant waiting i'm doing for something new to happen, something to make me feel like i'm alive. truthfully, nothing about me is normal, no matter the smile on my face...i have moments of weakness where i can't get out of bed, where i cry for no reason at all. there's a reason but i can't place my finger on it to save my life.

pushed away or discarded by those who view me as boring, i no longer cling and clutch at those i meet. in my mind, you're already gone. you're leaving me and i just haven't noticed it yet. I'd apologize for not being what everyone wants or likes, but i am not sorry. everything about me is a broken down mess and i hide behind my depression with a smile.

one day, i'll rest happily.