This list is a huge mess bc I really was just trying to figure out the difference for my own satisfaction, and I've determined that yes this is me

I still test as an INFJ every time, though

• most of the text here I copy and pasted from this site which as you can tell I spent far too much time reading and analyzing

seriously don't attempt to read this unless you are as much of an obsessive weirdo as I am _______

• judging vs. perceiving x

infp

• http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html

infj

• http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.html

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INFP qualities I relate to

• need to collect and integrate absurd amounts of information before making a decision
  • "They will read every page on this site and still believe it comes up short. It's incomplete. It didn't settle the question without any shadow of doubt. There's still some information missing. If there are inconsistencies, they will want them reconciled. They will consult other websites, other books, even their friends. They will integrate these many outputs. And in the end, they still will not decide -- because all the information isn't yet mined, explored, and integrated. It's possible there's one missing datapoint that will change the entire outcome. A DNA type test might help them decide."
  • ✔ it's ironic because this is exactly what I'm doing right now while trying to decide which type I am...
• "Often you have a gut feeling about whether personal, group, or organizational behavior is congruent with values."
• Often, you do not put your values and beliefs upon others or share them publicly until they are violated."
• Frequently you experience flashes of insight that present themselves as very broad themes and complex whole patterns or systems of thought without being triggered by external events.
• You usually feel a certainty about what is going to happen, often without much detail and without being able to trace the actual data that would support the prediction.
• INFPs tend to take the stance of "live and let live." Unless it's something that directly violates their values, they are pretty much content to let others alone. They will not often complain about others' "weird" behaviors, and their tendency is to condone people's rights to freely express themselves, as long as it does not trample a value the INFP holds dear.
• An INFP posted once that he expects people to work things out for themselves. If someone asks a question (perhaps as many as three times), he just doesn't answer, and simply expects the person to realize he doesn't want to answer.

INFJ qualities I relate to

• Much reading "between the lines" occurs.
• Potential possibilities and meanings are "revealed" and must be explored.
• In fact, I'm becoming aware of how often I want to label certain behaviors as "passive-aggressive." I'm noticing that's a euphemism for MY frustration for how they are not using my directing communication style.

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INFP:

Generally accepting yet a little distant when relating to others Have a tendency to disappear without warning socially, even from friends (!) Extremely flexible, until you hit something of importance, then watch it! Tend to not initiate social activities With someone in a crisis, good at just being there for that person and accepting them Tend toward very limited self-disclosure, and are cautious about expressing judgments May have a negative reaction to unsolicited advice Tend to be a target for the projections of others, since may not express a lot of emotion and opinions in public (!) Tend to generally be aware of their own emotional state Tend to adopt relatively few important beliefs and causes, and stick with them (although not necessarily be effective about acting on them) More rigid about beliefs and judgments internally

INFJ:

More externally judging Can come of as harsh or critical, even though they are warm internally and mean well Tend to give advice (often can't resist, if they think it will help someone) Believe more in stages of relationship, with attendant responsibilities With someone in a crisis, good at understanding and making suggestions for how the situation can be improved May get impatient when friends wallow or act helpless in negative situations, since the INFJs can see how the situation could be fixed or improved Tend toward greater self disclosure, and don't mind expressing judgments May polarize others, since opinions and enthusiasms are often expressed Better at getting things done externally. May wage quiet campaigns in organizations, gently but relentlessly pushing and nudging for that they believe in. May occasionally be unaware of their own emotional state. May be surprised when others say (correctly) they were angry in a situation. Tend to adopt beliefs and causes, yet remain open to changing them over time. Over time, this may lead to a large collection of beliefs and causes, or a serial exploration of them. More flexible about beliefs and judgements internally, while sounding more absolute externally.

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INFJs tend to be "people-builders," while INFPs tend to be "culture-builders." INFJs get invested in particular individuals and seek to help them develop, while INFPs often try to control the environment and strive to ensure the "atmosphere" is harmonious and conducive to growth. INFJs tend to talk about specific persons, while INFPs tend to talk about generalized situations. ...

INFPs take the world as it is. INFJs try to organize it. ...

INFJs tend to use the "directing" style of communication (i.e. "Sit down." "Put it over there." "Clean your room." - although these are extreme examples) while INFPs tend to use the "informing" style of communication (i.e. ""I don't have any money." "That music is so loud." "I'm not feeling good.") (!) These communication styles are on a continuum, an INFP might naturally use the informing style up to a certain point but then be "triggered" and resort to directing - but it is more stressful for them. The informing style of communication is harder to detect. Sometimes those with the directing style are simply oblivious to it, not recognizing that a defining interaction just transpired. (!)

• These two comments really highlight the difference, and make me think that my father is an INFJ and I'm more of an INFP. ...

For introverts, the outer world is like a foreign country, and we're always half-terrified we're lost or blowing it in some unknown way. We want reassurance that we haven't screwed it up in that realm. ...

Introverted Feeling (INFP dominant function), on the other hand, rejects this sort of cliche. As someone writes, "I object to the sort of commercialised, insincere mush that is falsely presented as 'romance' in the media and advertising" and rejects "the Hallmark capitalistic display of romance." In contrast to extraverted Feeling, introverted Feeling prefers to convey its affection.... in its own way.... in its own time... with its own methods. It chafes at any notion that something outside of them might dictate or regulate how and when and where they will celebrate their feelings. ...

If you've devoted time to investigating INFJ & INFP and you can't really tell what the difference is, or you just can't make up your mind which one you are and keep waffling back and forth -- the simple truth is that your preferences are probably for INFP.

(That does not mean that irrationally locking on to a decision that your preferences are for INFJ will make you one! In fact, whenever I encounter that mindset, I figure I'm talking to an INFP who has made a feeling *decision* about what type preferences they want to have, and they're not willing to discuss it. (!) People who have discovered their best-fit pattern are usually delighted to talk about the evidence that supports their choice.) ...

If you're comfortable divulging personal information about yourself (particularly to strangers), you're more likely INFJ. You may not even classify much information about yourself as being "personal" -- depending on the situation, everything is fair game. If, instead, you're inclined to be private and generally tight-lipped about yourself and your personal life, you're more likely INFP. Some NFPs have a habit of deftly turning the tables and asking others about themselves in order to turn the focus away and shine it on the other person instead so as to cleverly escape the limelight. They may be good at getting others to self-disclose, and prefer to stay hidden in the background, keeping themselves private. ...

This is far from foolproof, but kinda creepy when it works._ NJs tend to indicate the future in front of them, the present right where they are standing, and the past right behind them. NPs tend to indicate the future off to the right, the past off to the left, and the present a few feet in front of them. (!) When questioned, NPs generally say that they observe time flow past them, whereas NJs generally say they are right in the middle of the flow. ...

In a similar vein, some INFJs can get too "married" to their introverted iNtuition -- their vision of how things should be -- and they can get bossy about pushing people into realizing that glorious (perhaps impossible) vision.

• I think I used to be more of an INFJ, when I was younger, is that possible? but now I am definitely more of an INFP. ...

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tertiary function

INFPs: Introverted Sensing

I compare current experience against stored past impressions and experiences.

OR

I am aware at a detailed level of what is going on in my body, including my emotional state.

INFJs: Introverted Thinking

I seek precision in the use of words and in my internal models, frameworks, and blueprints.

OR

List everything you need to take on a trip and organize them into categories based on where they will be packed.

Now here are some ways I've seen these play out in real life.

INFPs are often well rooted in the past, with a good memory of things that have happened historically, and are attracted to "collecting" facts. They sometimes have a strong grasp of family and tradition and may have a great deal of familiarity with their family tree or display an interest in genealogy. They may act as the "family historian" at times, knowing who begat whom and how a particular branch is related. They have long memories. I know one INFP who could recite from memory what year of childhood he first spoke or began walking, including details about what hairstyles he wore at different stages of life! Others like to visit the same places frequently, and let their minds drift back in time to recall previous visits. Nostalgia is often engaged, and they enjoy telling stories from their past. (Introverted Sensing is a cultural norm in the U.S., so it seems fairly "typical" to look to the past this way.) One INFP tells how he enjoys his routines, his habits, doing things by rote. He does the everyday chores of maintaining his home, and these keep him in his comfort zone. Similarly, sometimes INFPs will stay at the same job for years because they're used to it -- even when the job stinks. (A friend of mine stayed at a dreadful job for 9 years!) __INFPs sometimes display "body wisdom," and their bodies can be barometers for how they are feeling, whether through illness, food allergies, or headaches. They are often given to taking medications to control their physical being in some fashion. These are all common ways that Si will manifest in the INFP type code.

I suspect that many INFPs believe they are "J's" because they enjoy the predictability of a routine, and imagine that is "J."

INFJs, on the other hand, are drawn to categorizing. They display a knack for systematizing and can do it quickly. They typically define terms, or ask others to define theirs. They expend a great deal of effort finding precisely the right word to express what they want to say, sometimes rewriting emails many times over until they are succinct, hopefully pithy, and all the words seem exactly right. They often behave like English teachers, and frequently get asked to proofread others' writing for errors. They can be highly sensitive to misspellings or it's/its mistakes on public signage. They strive for clarity and precision, and often contribute these gifts to a conversation. They attempt to articulate things unspoken, and name aloud any problem or peculiar dynamic. They may enjoy methods of organizing, such as the systematic "Color Me Beautiful" approach to fashion-dressing, or database designing, and of course, Personality Types. Some of them are professional organizers or financial planners thanks to their tertiary. It is the INFJ who will relentlessly re-take a personality test to grasp the categories better in order to figure out which category they really belong to, and become irritated if the results change each time. The INFJ cares more than the INFP does about people being "mis-filed" with the wrong type code, and I know an INFJ who got disgusted when her Step II inaccurately reported her as an INTJ.

Now in contrast, INFPs may get curmudgeonly if they are pushed to condense their writing, or if too much is made of particular categories. I've even seen them get hostile over having their spelling corrected! Because Ti is in the 8th position for INFPs, they can get downright "devilish" when a definition is challenged or when categories feel oppressive or restrictive to them. They prefer to define things their own way, and a little fuzziness doesn't seem to bother them. (Of course, discomfort with categories is probably one reason INFPs often mis-type themselves. To give primacy over to detached, impersonal categories would entirely undermine using subjective values, their favorite function.)

I've also seen INFPs revel in the past and spend much time on "Memory Lane." Recently I caught up with an INFP I hadn't corresponded with in several years, and all the chat was about the "old days" and wallowing in memories of the past. When she crafted a post to an email list, it invariably referenced her personal history -- either her educational background, failed relationships, past experiences -- these were always her come-froms. One time she posted regarding a bout of depression she suffered a decade ago, and the very memory made her cry. (Introverted Sensing isn't simply about remembering something; it's about recalling an experience in every way -- actually re-living it as if it is happening again for the first time.) This same gal also devoted quite a bit of energy comparing her current email list to an email list she used to belong to (Si does comparing). One time she produced a set of "rules" when she thought a list-member was going out of bounds (even whilst claiming she could never be as rule-bound as an SJ).

In comparison, INFJs tend to possess the memory of a sieve when it comes to their personal history. (I repeat, this is not about memory per se; it's about a frame of reference to the past. Everybody claims to have a bad memory.) Now, I can barely recollect what I did yesterday, much less something I did as a child. When somebody asks, "How have you been?" or "What have you been up to lately?" my mind goes blank, even if I just got back from a trip. My childhood memories are so vague that I once wondered whether I had been badly harmed as a child, since that is often a symptom of abuse. My ISTJ sister recalls lots more than me about my own childhood, or related facts. (Trust me, she would know all the details about any abuse.) Similarly, I lack interest in genealogy. I attended a family reunion one summer, and I was really impatient with figuring out how I was related to anybody there. Whenever my mother starts reciting "begats," I nearly pass out. When she tries to "catch me up" on news about a high school classmate, I usually don't know who she's talking about and could care less. I'm far more comfortable telling you how I'm *going* to be tomorrow, next week, or next month than I am telling you how I was yesterday (really!). When I re-connect with somebody and they want to reminisce at length about the "good old days," my heart sinks and I want to escape. I became a coach rather than a therapist because I couldn't stand the idea of hearing about people's childhoods and past histories all the time. (Virginia Satir called such conversations a "trip through the museum.") Because Si is in the 8th position for INFJs, they can get downright "devilish" when they're asked to reference past events for extended periods of time. And don't ask me how oppressed I feel when somebody tries to control me with rules! Airport security alone nearly makes me hyperventilate. Worse, anything that looks like a routine or a habit has me running the other direction -- I don't even like taking a daily vitamin, and heaven help me if a doctor puts me on a medication of any kind. I've never been able to brush my teeth regularly -- or do anything else "regularly," for that matter. And I mean nothing! Both my husband and I keep an extremely erratic schedule, and we also steer clear of day-to-day chores. Whenever we try to pack for a trip, it's a nightmare because we can never find where something got put away from the last trip (it probably didn't!). For that matter, I can't even stand going to the same job everyday -- I never worked at one job long enough to qualify for a paid vacation. However, I did love the novelty of being a temp and going to new offices all the time and meeting new people. Two weeks at the same job is just about right for me, and then I start craving something new.

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An INFP I know refers to his girlfriend his "S.O." (Significant Other). They've been together several years, share a home, and are apparently committed. I gotta tell ya, if someone called me an "S.O." after that much time together, I'd be seriously questioning what I was doing in that relationship. "S.O." sounds so noncommittal, so discounting, so… so… neutral or something. Beyond not self-disclosing* one's investment in the relationship, it simply doesn't capture and express the degree of commitment I would expect to be present after five years of togetherness. After five years I'd sure be buckin' for "girlfriend," "fiance," or even "wife"! I'd feel diminished every time I was referred to as "S.O.," like I'd been reduced to a pair of insignificant letters.

I confess I was terribly fond of being a fiancee and having a fiance -- there was so much pregnant possibility in those titles! I milked those titles for as long as I could -- I think it was about 2 years between getting engaged and getting married. The titles "wife" and "husband" don't have nearly as much cachet.

People I know who prefer Fi don't care about such "nonsense." They seem to sorta wish it didn't exist. They connect to people for who they are, not for what their standing is in the scheme of things. Only a week ago I talked to somebody so frustrated with his mother-in-law that he's started ignoring her and treating her like she doesn't exist. He was griping away about her, and I finally threw down the gauntlet and challenged him. I said, "Look, this is your mother-in-law you're talking about. It's your wife's mom; it's your children's grandmother. She isn't going to vanish because you're uncomfortable with her. You need to find a way to make your relationship with her work, because you have no choice about whether you will have that relationship. She cannot be persona non grata." I think he hoped to simply "end" their relationship, but the relationship web could not be overlooked! And I'm not talking genealogy here -- genealogy bores me to tears. I'm interested in the invisible "webs" of relationship that bind us, much more complicated than relationships of blood.

Another Fe organizing principle is around the "social calendar." The dates are set, the venue is scheduled, the food is chosen -- all organized beforehand, sometimes in intense detail! People who prefer Fe are usually able to tell you who is traveling where for each holiday season -- they keep tabs on who's going to be where. All manner of information is organized around the "web of relationship."

So how about you? Do you know where all the friends and relatives will be during the holidays? Do you think proper titles are stupid? How do you respond to the question, "Who are you?" or "Who is he?" Do you think that's a question about one's personal identity, or do you automatically organize around the web of relationships? _And which comes to you more naturally?+

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While I've never actually wanted to BE someone else, it occurred to me that I do tend to seek out well-regarded people to imitate and model myself after. It's one of the reasons I memorize quotes -- because I want to live up to high-minded ideals that are socially sanctioned. This is different from idealizing people. It's more about emulating them, even mimicking them.

In contrast, INFPs usually live what they believe is an unmistakable outward example to others -- so they are less interested in seeking role models than being role models. This is not to say that INFPs (or anyone with a preference for Introverted Feeling) don't ever admire others; it's just a different approach. For example, a person with Fi might decide to become a vegetarian for personal reasons, then later discover the writings of Dr. John McDougall, a proponent of vegetarianism, and decide he is a person worthy of admiration.

But this admiration is different from the Fe approach to seeking role models as described above. This difference stems from focus for the Feeling function -- Fe is directed toward others, so the role model being admired in this case is one that has similarly affected others. In the case of the inward-directed Fi, however, the "worth" of the role model is measured against the internal value set held by the observer, what's "valuable" to the individual.

So we could get an Fe and an Fi person both admiring John McDougall; the Fe person because of the positive influence he has had on the lives of others; the Fi person because his approach to vegetarianism meshes with the individual's internal belief system. And the Fe person may take special pains to emulate the folks they admire, while the Fi person is less likely to make that kind of effort.

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Some INFJs forget to show their vulnerability, and this works against them.

Some INFPs forget to stop being so vulnerable, and this works against them.

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Moreover, scores often overlook the influence of type dynamics, which Jung called "individuation." I know an ENFJ who scored ESFJ on a recent MBTI®, and it puzzled her. She was willing to accept that her preferences might be for ESFJ, but she wasn't prepared to assume it was "best-fit" without more investigation. As we discussed the matter, she came to realize she is currently developing her Tertiary function (extraverted Sensing), and it was influencing her interaction with the instrument. She was out-scoring "S" over "N," because those were the kind of experiences she was actively engaging at this time of her life. ...

Something I've noticed about e-mail lists is that INFJs seem to get frustrated with them quickly and tend to move on to things that are more "real" -- where they can "get things done." Some INFPs seem to move from one list to the next, endlessly seeking the one that best matches their values. They appear to thrive on the interactions, and love integrating all the viewpoints, but forever seeking after something "new." I know some INFPs who have spent years hanging out on lists -- one INFP seems to have his Yahoo groups connected to him like an IV drip, living for the contact and connection. He loves the whole process. In contrast, I often feel an urge to get away, to simplify, and stop the endless list chattering so I can make measurable progress in the "real world." It's important for me to feel a sense of "movement," of getting somewhere, achieving concrete goals.

I notice that INFPs have a greater need and tolerance for intimate connection than INFJs seem to have. INFJs need to disconnect frequently in order to rejuvenate.

How about you? Are you an e-mail list junkie? Could you spend your life online? -- or have you unsubscribed to most of it so it doesn't interfere with your "real life" so much? Hmmmm.....?

• I seem to go back and forth between these two attitudes, it can be confusing! I'm forever joining and abandoning online groups/sites and then rejoining again

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INFP:

I have a very internal focus. I think I look at myself through other people's eyes, but sometimes I can lose touch with how things work for me. Then I can get introspective, going very deep and staying there, not coming out too quickly or easily. Somehow I find it very difficult to put into words and communicate the things that really matter to me. Most people don't have the foggiest notion about what goes on with me.

I like harmony and seek consensus and do well with the deep issues. My values and the things that are important to me often feel outside the mainstream in the sense that I feel impinged upon and uncomfortable with so much of what goes on. I'm too private to push my values on to other people, but I am convinced that one ought to be congruent in their own life if they are going to expect congruence from others. In a sense I hold other people to that standard, and I worry about my own incongruities, inconsistencies, and contradictions. (!) Groups can be hard. I can put myself in the group process so rapidly and so completely, and it's important not to get sucked in. I need to be predictable about what I believe.

I am a global thinker and I like to learn interactively. My thoughts need to be connected with some person or value. On reflection, don't all thoughts have to be connected to something? I feed new information into other things I've read and my thoughts, and I can have a marvelous time just sitting with ideas. And I like to discuss or write things because I seem to have a lot in my head and I've got to get it out. I love bringing together different eclectic ideas and seeing what's similar. I like to have my own ideas, hear others ideas, and have ideas challenged, bantering back and forth. Chitchat has no interest for me. I tend to do a lot of mental rehearsal and play in problem solving, and the fun part is figuring out how to do something. Motivation comes when something has real meaning or value for me, and while I enjoy ideas I don't like having my values challenged. (!)

For me, asking questions is just a different form of being quiet, a way to explore an inner thought stream or check out of reality and back into my thoughts. Sometimes I chuckle at myself that there is really no sequential way that I work though tasks...

I'm concerned about how others feel when they are around me. Lack of honesty or ethics or integrity in interactions-when someone is saying one thing but doing another-really puts me off. So does when someone doesn't honor, or accept as valid, my communication or feeling as I try to talk to them about something that matters to me. And I don't need to talk about myself. I don't enjoy it. Sometimes I'm frustrated trying to communicate, and sometimes a metaphor or a joke or a story is a way to effectively express myself so what I'm saying can be heard by someone who hears or experiences things differently.

I don't know what I am going to do next, but I trust in myself that something will come in as a new idea, with challenge and inner meaning. Whatever it is, it will be right. Although I would never actually say it, it feels as though I am grounded in the very being of who I am when I talk like this.

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INFJ:

The quest for more knowledge, the meaning of life, the philosophical questions-my mind is always occupied, and what's exciting is when I get to follow through with an insight and do something. I am an abstract future thinker, looking at things from different perspectives. I'm about the relationships and possibilities and enjoy anything with deeper meaning that leaves me wondering, with more questions to ask and things to untangle. Connecting for me means being able to intuitively ask questions of people to get them to go deeper into the things they are talking about.

Inspiring others, helping them find their purpose or meaning, being a different kind of leader from what's traditional-that's really gratifying. I just do that naturally. The challenge is opening up people's minds to have their own original thoughts. I'm a listener and guide.

I think I am a mystery to people. They never really understand me and part of me enjoys that. More often though, I long to be understood.

I tend to approach my day with a structured way of getting things accomplished. People see me as organized, thorough, and easy to get along with, pulling my own weight and eager to help out when called upon. But I'm not as outgoing or as critical as I may sometimes appear. I need a balance between people contact and working on creative projects and will break away from interactions when I get tired out. If I don't have some long-term goals, then what's the point?

I tend to intuitively read people very quickly, but I have to be cautious not to make assumptions. I'm an observer. I get a feeling when people are interesting, and I watch from a distance, make some assessments about the situation, and then approach them and engage in conversation. I put a little bit out and a little more and see how that goes. Do I trust and like them, are they who they say? I have a few deep friendships. A friendship comes best when it is worked to develop that investment. I quickly pick up on sincerity and withdraw if the person is superficial or obviously doesn't care. When I see people who abuse their power or won't stand behind what they say, that ticks me off. It's about integrity. I feel other people's feelings, and taking on that burden can make me too intense and serious, where I can't be spontaneous and fun loving...

Everything revolves around growth. Caring is about the ability to help others grow. What I bring is caring about people, not things. If we spent more time trying to understand each other's point of view, to communicate more effectively, we would grow. In an honest, open, sincere relationship, I can accomplish anything. My challenge is to create those kinds of relationships. I respect most the person who is willing to come forth and be an individual-to make the world a better place, or make a difference in a person's life, where we reach each other's hearts.

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INFP:

For INFPs the dominant quality in their lives is a deep-felt caring and idealism about people. They experience this intense caring most often in their relationships with others, but they may also experience it around ideas, projects, or any involvement they see as important. INFPs are often skilled communicators, and they are naturally drawn to ideas that embody a concern for human potential. INFPs live in the inner world of values and ideals, but what people often first encounter with the INFP in the outer world is their adaptability and concern for possibilities.

INFJ:

For INFJs the dominant quality in their lives is their attention to the inner world of possibilities, ideas, and symbols. Knowing by way of insight is paramount for INFJs, and they often manifest a deep concern for people and relationships as well. INFJs often have deep interests in creative expression as well as issues of spirituality and human development. While the energy and attention of INFJs are naturally drawn to the inner world of ideas and insights, what people often first encounter with INFJs is their drive for closure and for the application of their ideas to people's concerns.

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→ an INFP profile actually written by INFPs ***

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→ useful summary description of cognitive processes: INFJ is eF dominant, INFP is iF dominant