• Earned a 4.0 average in my first year of university
  • Completed three more years of university without a 4.0 average, even when I wanted to quit many times
  • Got out of bed a lot of days when I didn't want to
  • Did a semester of animal health prereqs even though they were hard
  • Volunteered at the vet clinic even though it wasn't what I ended up wanting to do
  • A+ in French translation
  • A in performance art
  • A+ in a few art history surveys
  • Earned honours with distinction throughout high school
  • Received the humanities excellence award in grade twelve
  • Received a bronze service award in grade eleven
  • Wrote my first novel draft (NaNoWriMo 2006)
  • Attempted NaNoWriMo a second time, even if I didn't finish (2007)
  • Wrote my second novel draft (NaNoWriMo 2008)
  • Wrote my third novel draft (NaNoWriMo 2009)
  • Wrote a fourth novel draft while in university (NaNoWriMo 2013)
  • Attempted a non-novel writing project while taking time off from university due to illness, even though I couldn't concentrate on writing coherently the way I wanted (NaNoWriMo 2014)
  • Wrote a fifth novel draft while in university (NaNoWriMo 2015)
  • even while I was so sick that I had to withdraw from most of the classes I wanted to take.
  • Wrote a short story
  • Published my short story, Fever, in Precipice magazine
  • Translated the first few chapters of a novel into French for extra credit, and convinced my French teacher to read the rest of the book
  • Became vegetarian when I wanted to
  • Become not-vegetarian when I wanted to
  • Received $5000 in scholarships after graduating high school
  • Received some other scholarship after first year of uni
  • even though they took back part of it a few months later when I decided to take a semester off in an attempt to figure out what I actually wanted to be doing
  • Learned to play the guitar
  • Learned to crochet
  • Traveled to Europe (France and Spain)
  • Survived the Europe trip with some good memories even though I was sick the entire time
  • Took a performance art class
  • Got a nose piercing even though I couldn't get the septum piercing I wanted
  • Got my hair cut when I wanted to
  • Dyed my hair a lot of times when I wanted to
  • Buzzed my hair off when I wanted to
  • Came out to myself as bisexual
  • Came out to myself, kinda, sorta as genderqueer
  • Getting over my need to buy and wear clothes I'm not comfortable in
  • Slowly liking myself more and more every day
  • Handled the stressful bed bug situation like a champ
  • Taking care of myself even though my parents aren't here
  • Maintained a healthy relationship for 4+ years
  • Cooked a lot of meals
  • Baked a lot of delicious treats
  • Moved out of my parents' house
  • Survived a year of roommate conflict
  • Moved into my (our) own apartment
  • Had a job at Planet Organic for a while
  • Quit the job when I no longer wanted it
  • Learned that my urge to quit things is sometimes an anxiety coping mechanism
  • but only sometimes
  • Kept a lot of written journals when I was younger
  • Kept collage journals for a full year
  • Learned (eventually, painfully) that a lot of the things I due can be seen as journals even if they aren't in a book
  • Volunteered on the board of Other Voices until it shut down
  • Volunteered at the art gallery
  • Self-published a book of photos
  • Self-published a book for my father
  • My performance art essay was accepted for publication in an academic journal
  • Got through a very anxiety-filled, poor health semester with two A- and a B+
  • Adopted a kitten: Cleo
  • Adopted another kitten: Olive (rescued a stray that was left at the vet clinic)
  • Raised them to be sweet, playful sociable companions
  • even though Cleo is shy and scared around anyone she isn't familiar with, I've come to accept that this is okay and part of her personality and not necessarily something to fix
  • gently corrected people who say she is mean when she hisses at them
  • reminded them that they can speak quietly, allow her to approach them first, that it's only when she feels her safe space is in danger that she attempts to hiss or scratch
  • learned that these observations can also apply equally to my own anxiety disorder
  • Cared for a lot of pet mice
  • handled various medical issues with the pet mice, including expensive vet bills and deaths
  • even when I was depressed and having trouble caring for myself
  • even when my ability or lack thereof to care for the mice to the standard I imagined in my mind became a major focal point for my depression and anxiety
  • Cared for my parents' cat for a couple of months after they moved to Newfoundland
  • Survived my parents moving across the country
  • Did a lot to help my parents get ready to move while making the most of our time together
  • Volunteered at a veterinary clinic
  • decided to devote my time and energy to pursuing veterinary education and training
  • even when I was consumed by fear that this meant turning my back on the time I had already invested into my arts degree
  • even when this meant explaining to friends and acquaintances why I suddenly seemed to be doing something completely different and even when this needing to explain caused a lot of stress for me
  • Decided to return to finish my arts degree after a few months of commitment to the veterinary path
  • even though I was afraid this change of direction, when viewed alongside the change of the direction that had already taken me from arts studies to pre-veterinary studies, meant that I was fundamentally incapable of committing to and properly finishing any one thing
  • stopped volunteering at the veterinary clinic very soon after this decision was made
  • even though I was afraid that this would make the veterinarian I was working under (who I deeply respected) think that I had never really wanted to volunteer with him in the first place and had wasted his time
dec 7 2013 ∞
jul 20 2019 +