- i work at a sex toy shop and you come in frequently so i assume you have a significant other, but you just like coming in to make fun of how weird the toys are
- you’re lying on the floor of the movie theater crying and i’m the employee who has to tell you another movie starts in five minutes so you have to leave and i’m really sorry but im also confused as to why a documentary on lightbugs affected you so much
- you and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and i’m really just trying to study over here so i’m gonna put an end to this by winning the game
- the postal worker delivered your package to my place accidentally and i was expecting something so i totally didn’t look before i opened it and… wow that is um… quite an interesting thing you bought and i’m here to return it
- i thought you were my friend so i slapped your ass in greeting
- totally saw you spray paint the principals car and you’ll have to buy me things to keep me quiet
- you’re in the bathroom stall next to me and started singing frozen songs bc you thought you were alone and i joined in
- i’m an ikea employee and every day for the last week i’ve had to ask you to leave the store bc you keep coming in and sleeping in the beds seriously are you homeless or something i can call a shelter
- you just came up to me on the street and asked where the weirdest place i had sex was and i’m assuming it’s for one of those talk show things, but i’m really nervous because you’re really really hot in that suit holy shit
sep 21 2015 ∞
oct 13 2015 +