SHAUNA SHIPMAN (yellowjackets.)

ARMAND (interview with the vampire.)

CLAUDIA DE LIONCOURT (interview with the vampire.)

BETH GREENE (the walking dead.)

RHIANNON (sweetpea.)

ASUKA LANGLEY SORYU (neon genesis evangelion.)

ANTHY HIMEMIYA (revolutionary girl utena.)

cat people (1942) DIR. jacques tourneur

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ WATCHED: 5 times

‎IRENA: "I like the dark... It's friendly."

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twin peaks: fire walk with me (1996) DIR. david lynch

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ WATCHED: 2 times

DONNA: "Do you think that if you were falling in space, that you would slow down after a while, or go faster and faster?

LAURA: "Faster and faster. And for a long time you wouldn't feel anything, and then you'd burst into fire, forever. And the angels wouldn't help you, because they've all gone away."

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ...

DOC HAYWARD: "This isn't a prescription, it's a secret message for Laura: The ange...

interview with the vampire (2022) BY. rolin jones

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hannibal (2013) BY. bryan fuller

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twin peaks (1990) BY. david lynch and mark frost

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the bear (2022) BY. christopher storer

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severance 2022 BY. dan erickson

• pigeons.
• when you're so sleepy that weariness weighs down your eyelids, that feeling of snapping yourself awake and realising the helplessness of your mind against the call of your body.
• long dog snouts.
• bluebells— any droopy flower, really.
• clawing your hand into the dirt and feeling it pack beneath your fingernails.
• people's backs— seeing the muscles tense and flex, grow taut over bone.
• the nier and drakengard games.
• cold, salty water washing sandy feet.
• sunlight shining through stained glass and the whispers of colour that spill over the floor.
• falling asleep facedown in a sunny spot, then drowsily petting your warm, sun-soaked hair.
• powerful piano chords.

• phones vibrating on tables.
• blinding sun that makes you squint in photos— being unable to even force them open.
• having candid photos taken of me.
• that subtle exclusion of talking with two other people who neglect to make eye contact with you and only stare at one another
  • sitting at the edge of a table, unable to talk to other people because the person next to you has completely shielded and hidden you behind their shoulder.
• the concept of ragebait.
• m night shaymalan.
• charles bukowski.
• high energy, active, untrained dogs and their owners. especially their owners.

i think a name truly completes a person— doesn't it? you come into this world a breathing, bloody, warm bundle of flesh, and you are aware and people are aware that you're aware, but you aren't somebody until you have a couple letters assigned to address you as.

these are some names i find myself oddly attracted to. for the gentlemen,

• guy
• laurence
• roman
• luca
• kaz
• elias
• elliott
• wyatt
• wylan
• jean
• dorian
• victor

i've never imagined myself in a relationship. when people ask for my five year plan, my mind doesn't slip romance into the narrative— no shared mornings filled with chapped kisses, or the mouth of another tracing lipstick stains on the rims of my cups, or an imprint of an arm or a leg imprinted in my duvet. it's not even there in subtext, my mind vehemently opposes it in every form. i am disgusting through and through, and i can't imagine another person sharing my presence and enjoying it; being with myself, alone, tires me. i'm too aware of myself, and i'm too aware of other people— i don't like them nor their blatant performance, and i am afraid of encountering a person that's just like me. my imperfections are blatant and explicit, easy to spot and to comment on, but nobody does; you'd think this would comfort me, but it doesn't. if nobody notices me at my worst, who will notice me ...