"In elementary school they made fun of me for eating hummus." "In elementary school they made fun of you if you didn't eat hummus."

• "In Russia, peasants wear fur coats because if you don't, you die." -AK
• "Tracy, if you'll permit me to quote Jamie Foxx..." -Melizald
• "You must stop drinking this devil's juice!" -NSD
• "Cookies like boobs! When we were little, cookies were boobs." -NSD
• "They gave me a bag of drugs. I have a lot of drugs." -AH
• "Sweet leg hair."

"My nose is running." "Better go catch it." "That's my joke." "I stole it." "I'm calling the police."