i need to have a better grasp on my thoughts and emotions that keep on attacking my peace

• 010819 can't shake off the heaviness today. questioned my fulfillment in life and everything else that i want to work on this year. it's overwhelming trying to make sense if traveling will actually put me in peace and trying to find whatever it is that's been weighing me down or the reason of the gaping hole in my heart. a part of me knows it's time to rekindle friendships.
• 0117-1819 what do i want to do in life!!!! i don't know if i should pursue further studies that might take away 4 years of my life, but i'm also so torn to doing something more in my life!!! why am i like this!!! there's also the thought of finding work overseas but everything just leads to just doing something i can be proud of + earning more money bc life works that way or u just starve. i don't want these thoughts anymore!!! feeling like you're not enough!!
• 0904-0619 this week was so difficult. my anxiety was through the roof and i had so much to work on and review for. just tried listening to a lot of victory songs, read the bible, and wrote a lot of things to inspire me this year. sometimes, i think of getting my anxiety checked because it can get really bad and trying to manage it while you deliverables are piling up makes it worse.