x ┊ x

• type 4 — the individualist

fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. they are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. they typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. at their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

• basic fear: that they have no identity or personal significance
• basic desire: to find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)
• enneagram four with a five-wing: "the bohemian"

key motivations: want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer."

fours feel that they are unlike other human beings, and consequently, that no one can understand them or love them adequately. they often see themselves as uniquely talented, possessing special, one-of-a-kind gifts, but also as uniquely disadvantaged or flawed. more than any other type, fours are acutely aware of and focused on their personal differences and deficiencies.

while it is true that fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. they may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. the “romantics” of the enneagram, they long for someone to come into their lives and appreciate the secret self that they have privately nurtured and hidden from the world. If, over time, such validation remains out of reach, fours begin to build their identity around how unlike everyone else they are. the outsider therefore comforts herself by becoming an insistent individualist: everything must be done on her own, in her own way, on her own terms. fours’ mantra becomes “i am myself. nobody understands me. i am different and special,” while they secretly wish they could enjoy the easiness and confidence that others seem to enjoy.

personal growth recommendations for fours.

• do not pay so much attention to your feelings; they are not a true source of support for you, as you probably already know.
• avoid putting off things until you are "in the right mood."
• self-esteem and self-confidence will develop only from having positive experiences, whether or not you believe that you are ready to have them.
• a wholesome self-discipline takes many forms, from sleeping regular hours to working regularly to exercising regularly, and has a cumulative, strengthening effect.
• avoid lengthy conversations in your imagination, particularly if they are negative, resentful, or even excessively romantic.

famous fours.

• billie holiday
• edgar allan poe
• virgina woolf
• frida kahlo
• stevie nicks
• amy winehouse
• prince
• lars von trier
• winona ryder