Saturday, September 12 2026 ——————————————————————

I am very frustrated but I'm not sure what's going on. I know better than to let the scale influence my mood but I'm so disappointed that it's still going up! I stepped on this morning and expected a drop but I'm at 244.8lbs.

However, after taking a moment to sulk (mildly) I have looked back at my eating over the last couple days and I have had a lot more sodium than I had been having before. I've also had more processed foods, like my RealGood chicken breast strips, some beef sticks, bouillon and cream of rice, and then more chicken breast strips and sausage sticks. I have loaded myself up. I said I wasn't sure why it was happening but it's right there!

I just ate shit food and I'm getting shit results. Haha

Friday, September 11 2026 ——————————————————————

Okay, don't get me wrong, I know that fluctuation is normal. I have seen it over and over again—it's been almost 19 months of tracking! But I hate to see it after consistently going down like I have in the past two weeks or so.

Today was 244.4lb. I keep thinking to myself what might have caused it? Did I not drink enough water? Is it because I had some cream of rice with my breakfast yesterday? It was my first time choosing a grain since I went grain free. Is it just odd fluctuation after menstruation?

It will go down. I will continue to track and log. I will eat good, nutritious foods. It will be fine. I was just disappointed to see it!

Either way, it doesn't affect my day. I'm going to log as usual and I think today will be wonderful.

Thursday, September 10 2026 ——————————————————————

I stepped onto the scale this morning with visions of 241. Instead, I got 243.6. I was certainly disappointed. I know that is something that can and does happen. This isn't my first rodeo! I'm hoping for a drop in the next few days.

Today just feels different too. I don't feel bad but I feel off. I think it was the not-xpected weigh in coloring my day. But I know it'll pick up! (Narrator: It, in fact, only got worse once she got to work.)

…

I've been thinking more about my current diet and how it's akin to Paleo meets Whole30. But really, why do I need to put a label on it? What if I stopped trying to focus on those "rules" and instead focused on only whole, real foods? Choosing the foods I already choose and then allowing myself more variety. Like, what if I wanted some quinoa? If I'm mindful, log accurately, and choose good, nutritious whole foods, where is the issue?

…

Two caregivers out. I am the on-call person and the office worker. All hell was unleashed. I am going to sit in the office and eat my snacks and pretend like today is actually Friday.

Tuesday, September 8 2026 ——————————————————————

I took my niece to school and by the time I got on the interstate to head to work my brother was texting me to pick her up. I did. It made me about 30 minutes late to work but I was able to take her to Dunkin'. Thankfully I work for the most amazing people and it didn't affect my day at all.

My weight is going down pitifully slow this week. Damn period. Hopefully it drops afterward!

I'm still sticking to my whole foods based diet. I went to make dinner last night though and it was trying me. I knocked a whole bottle of avocado oil off the counter and it shattered on the tile floor. I was done. I cleaned it up and then went to town and got my dad dinner from Wendy's and I went to bed when I got home.

I was just in a bad mood yesterday. It's like everything hit all at once. It worked out though. I need to eat more today though.

I say that as I sit here at my desk at work and eat an apple. I packed seasoned ground turkey, broccoli, and roasted carrots for lunch. Then some crisp black grapes for a snack. Also as huge 32floz bottle of coconut water.

I'll be all calorified today. Haha

…

I think I want to get filler, like to balance things out. I'll have to explore that idea more in the future.

Saturday, September 5 2026 ——————————————————————

I arrived to a client's visit yesterday and he said right off that I had lost weight. I've only lost a few pounds since I saw him last but I wonder if it looks like more to other people?

He asked me for a hug and it was so strange but I actually felt smaller for once.

I was "bad" though and he insisted I have breakfast with him. I had to go back to the office so he insisted I take some with me. It's things I don't actually eat. It smelled good but I went to the gas station down the road and threw it away. I went in and got myself two meat sticks that I know don't have any additives or anything.

Then the next client I went to see later told me that I could use my looks to get stuff for free. Haha I think he was just trying to make me feel good about myself because I initially said I couldn't do that.

Today at the grocery store people complimented my clothing and were friendly.

Maybe it is making a difference now.

I remember when I lost weight the first time I was getting attention I wasn't comfortable with. People were nicer to me than I expected. Because the thing was, I had always thought people were nice to me. But then men actually looked at me, like in public and that was...different.

Now, maybe I'm just more sure of myself or something. I don't mind at all. Probably because J and I weren't in a relationship then so I felt like they were looking at me in a more predatory way. Now, it doesn't matter because I'm all his either way. Haha.

Oh! Also my weight is at 243.6lb today. My period should start any day now. After that it'll start going down a bit more.

Thursday, September 3 2026 ——————————————————————

It was bound to happen eventually! I am at 243.4lbs today. I don't hate it. I have a hope that tomorrow will head back down as I do tend to bounce around a bit, but if it does? Well, that's okay.

I've been thinking about work and I'm putting myself in a funk. My manager leaves the day to day to me but he also gets Thursday and Friday off which means I have the toughest days to deal with and he gets two easy breezy days on Saturday and Sunday. I mean, good for him but also boo. Haha

I also realized that because of my possible ADD that could be why people just don't exist for me if they're not like actively talking to me or around where I can see them. It's nothing against anyone but it's like I live in my little vacuum and you don't exist unless you're right there. Really what got me thinking about it is that I realized I don't have anyone other than like J. It feels like everyone else is just there to get something from me.

But are they? Or am I just not privy to the way other people work. It got me down too. My period is probably starting in the next few days and that sometimes happens. Like, I get so down on myself. I recognize it, like "Wait, why am I suddenly crying because I feel like I have no one? I was fine yesterday!"

I think I'm just lonely. Everything feels transactional and it doesn't feel nice so I don't pursue it. It's always been like that. I have to provide something (outside of friendship / companionship) for someone to stick around.

I don't know. I'll do some more dissecting of that feeling.

I also just realized that if my period is due in a few days then that would also explain a rise in my weight, it happens every month!

Wednesday, September 2 2026 ——————————————————————

Another day of expecting the number on the scale to go up and it went down instead. I could get used to that! I'm at 242.8lbs today. Where is it going? I don't know. None of my business. Haha

Tuesday, September 1 2026 ——————————————————————

I was really expecting the number to go up today. Instead, it was 243.4lb. I must have done something to deserve that! Haha.

I really attribute it to my switch to a whole foods based diet and dropping artificial sweeteners. Is that it? I don't really know but those are my only real changes.

I feel good too. I've been waking up at 4am like I set an alarm. My blood sugar has also been amazing. It's staying between 70 and 115 all the time, even after eating. It might be the tirzepatide too but either way it's doing something good, as I think that influences things too.

It feels like a new season. I took my measurements this morning too. I think I'm going to try to do that as a first of the month type thing. Just to see the changes.

…

I was just thinking, I wonder if the reason that I am losing weight so readily right now is because I am the one making / controlling all of my food? No guesses, no odd ingredients. No excess sodium. No calorie bombs they say aren't.

It's nice. I'm really pleased and I feel good.

Monday, August 31 2026 ——————————————————————

The other day I had a typo where I said I was dreaming of 246.8 I accidentally put 243.8lb at first. I corrected it though.

I guess dreams do come true though and miracles do happen because I woke up this morning and the scale said 243.8lb! I weighed twice in a row, then I picked it up dusted off the feet and put it down again and boom same thing.

Wow. It will be up tomorrow but I'm loving it today. Haha

Sunday, August 30 2026 ——————————————————————

I just realized that I only have 46.4lbs left to lose to my first goal. I think I've mentioned it before but it really blows my mind each time I see it.

I think this way of eating that I've settled into is just *the one* for me.

Oh, and I also looked into the dressing I was a bit iffy about yesterday at the restaurant and I'm like 90% sure it was Brianna's Home Style Rich Poppy Seed dressing. It's not perfect but I don't mind it as a special treat when out to eat. So I'm counting yesterday as a good day of eating and very balance for eating out at a restaurant.

Saturday, August 29 2026 ——————————————————————

I went out to a little bistro with my niece for lunch. I had their signature salad minus the cheese. I didn't ask for anything special with the dressing and boy could you tell. It was sweet and tangy and 100% had unknown sweeteners in it. I felt a bit guilty but it was fine, it's not an everyday thing and it was delicious.

It was mixed leaf lettuce, red onion, tomato, avocado, bacon crumbles, sliced egg, and a poppyseed type dressing. I also had salmon on top.

I ate the entire thing. I regretted it after because I was so full but it was great.

I also way, way overspent on our outing. Like $300 I wasn't planning on spending. I don't know how to say no and it is honestly going to break the bank.

I'll have to work on that. Or her parents could just buy her her things like shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant, etc. etc.

I find it annoying but at the same time I'm glad to know she has these things. I didn't have that when I was growing up. There was no guarantee that I'd have what I needed and I couldn't ask for it.

I don't know. I hurt my own feelings if I think about it too much. Haha.

But, silver lining is we had a good time. I also was at 247.6 this morning and was 247.2 yesterday. I'm dreaming of 246.8 tomorrow! (It won't hurt my feelings if it's not that though.)

Thursday, August 27 2026 ——————————————————————

I weighed myself last night with clothes on and after a full day of eating. Needless to say I hurt my own feelings. Haha

It said 251.2lb. I was worried that when I stepped on the scale this morning it would be higher. How happy I was to see it wasn't!

I weighed in at 248lb this morning. Do you see these numbers going down!? I am so excited.

And, when I have a chance later, I have to tell you all about the changes at work. I think I am going to be a whole lot busier.

Monday, August 24 2026 ——————————————————————

Did you see that I am at 1 full week in the 240's? Upper 240's for sure, but still no 5 in sight this week (so far). I'm pretty excited. I feel like something is actually happening.

Yay!

Saturday, August 22 2026 ——————————————————————

I've decided that I'm going to start eating better. I've been watching videos about people who only eat whole foods and it's quite inspiring.

I've also been drinking less coke zero. It's my vice. I'm getting used to drinking water and sometimes sweetened sparkling water

I got home from grocery shopping today and I prepped lemon pepper chicken, garlic parmesan chicken, rotisserie seasoned chicken, and then some that were plain. I also prepped a large chuck roast for stew.

I think this will help me to keep my finances and health in line. Well, provided I eat everything!

Thursday, August 20 2026 ——————————————————————

I added a rolling average to my Weight A Minute! (Part Deux - a Fresh Start) list. I think it is going to make all the difference moving forward. My weigh-ins are super noisy and that showing the downward trend is quite motivating!

Wednesday, August 19 2026 ——————————————————————

Would it be wrong for me to start a new weight log to keep up with things after my "fresh start"? I hadn't been following my diet like I should for the past few months and seeing those weigh ins is demotivating.

Yeah, I think I will. It'll be good. It's not saying it didn't happen, but that I'm turning over a new leaf. My original Weight a Minute! log is under the ongoing section. <3

Wednesday, August 12 2026 ——————————————————————

I've gotten a new account on myfitnesspal. I am starting fresh. I feel like I needed that. I've started weighing my food out again, logging everything, and even making my own lunches for work.

I'm excited. I feel like the 240's is within reach.

Thursday, July 30 2026 ——————————————————————

After I went home last night and changed into my house clothes, I noticed that I was wrong about the size. I bought the xxl because I thought that's what I had been wearing from that brand. Nope. I had been wearing a 2x.

The 2x is for a 20w/22w. The bust is 47.5" - 51.5", the waist is 41.5" - 45.5", and the hip measurement is 51" - 55".

The xxl is for a 20. The bust is 45" - 47", the waist is 37.5" - 39.5", and the hips are 48" - 50".

I guess I sized down without trying and was still pleased with how it fit me—the original dress is loose in the chest. Crazy how that is.

Wednesday, July 29 2026 ——————————————————————

I've fallen so far off the wagon I'm going to need a search and rescue team. Haha

But, I mean, at least my weight hasn't gone up (too much) and I'm still taking tirzepatide. It's a wonderful tool. I'll be upping the dose to 7.5mg next week. I think that will help.

I said I wasn't going to buy any new dresses since I've bought so many in the past few months but there was a cute one at Kohl's yesterday and I couldn't say no. I mean, I actually bought a dress from the misses section. Like straight from a store and it fits well! It was a xxl but, still, I've not been able to do that and it actually be cute in ever.

I'm so used to not being able to buy things in store. It's awkward. Like going shopping with my niece and all I can do is just sort of look and make suggestions to her.

I am plus sized but I'm not like large chest and stomach plus size. So, this fits me so much better than anything I've bought in store.

Thursday, July 23 2026 ——————————————————————

I'm just not measuring food. I'm being reasonable. Stopping when I'm full, not doing anything too crazy—except my excessive consumption of Werther's candies. The tirzepatide is starting to do it's job.

I'm feeling good. I do have this weird welt on my left thigh. No clue what it's from. It's itchy but doesn't hurt. I'm going to be keeping an eye on it.

I also have been keeping track of my budget. I'll update it for this week's budget later. I'm below budget!

Tuesday, July 21 2026 ——————————————————————

I haven't been logging like I should. Or at all really. Not since Friday. I still weigh every day and I try to make good decisions. I don't know if I'm burnt out or just lazy since I am cooking everything and don't want to deal with measuring and conversions, etc.. Haha

It'll be fine. My weight is stable. I just need to stop eating so many Werther's!

…

I also decided to go more analog. I'm working on removing myself from being stuck on the phone so much.

Oh! And I finally figured out how to work my camera months after getting it. I've enjoyed taking lots and lots of photos. I guess my favorites are ones where I am just taking pictures of everyday life. Nothing special, but just things that catch my eye.

Tuesday, July 14 2026 ——————————————————————

I have been trying to cook more at home. It's making it increasingly difficult to count calories. I'm hoping as my tirzepatide level raises I'll find it easier to control what I'm actually eating.

It makes me feel nearly hopeless when I can't just focus on me and I have to take care of someone else. And the kicker is they're not even foods I like I just make what I know dad likes and then he complains if I make the food I like.

I have no idea what I should do other than cook two meals but I really, really don't want to do that.

Monday, July 13 2026 ——————————————————————

I don't know what it was about today. I woke up at 5:30am and had to pee so I just thought while I was in there, I'd go ahead and have a shower. Then I decided I had plenty of time until I had to be at work at 10am. I went ahead and made myself a turkey and cheese wrap for lunch with some crisps, prepped a full package of sausage and got it put away for my dad for him to have during the week, and then found a recipe to reuse the meatloaf I made yesterday to turn it into vegetable soup.

I swept and did dishes. I guess it's just a good day?

I spoke to J for a bit. It's his sister's 38th birthday today. She's just under a year older than me. He told me they talked about me while I was there, since I basically only wear dresses now and that it's cooler. She likes dresses but she doesn't like sleeveless ones. I said me either, I just wear a cardigan, a thin cover, or a jacket. He said he told her that too.

It'd be fun if she started wearing dresses more too!

After I finished making the sausage I had two pieces myself. That seemed like enough. I don't know. Maybe it's where I upped my tirzepatide yesterday. I'm at 5mg now.

I decided I thought that was a good idea as instead of an fourth 2.5mg week, I'd do a 7.5mg week when I get to the end of the vial. This will be only three 5mg weeks, but I'm not new to tirzepatide.

Saturday, July 11 2026 ——————————————————————

I weighed myself the first time and it said 247lb and I about died. Then I stepped on again to 245.8lb. Cue my excitement! They were different though so I had to step on and get my true weight. But now that I had two unexpected numbers I picked up the scale and put it back down after dusting the feet off. Not sure why I do that. Old habit.

It was 252.4lb. Twice.

Well, I really didn’t expect anything else but boy did my hopes get high after that first and second round.

…

Took my niece out and way overspent. I used my card for it so I'm counting it differntly than a regular day this time. I spent $224.40. This included $120.78 on some school clothes for her. We did have a wonderful time though. I'll be buying more school clothes in a week or two. I will have budgeted normally for that though!

Friday, July 10 2026 ——————————————————————

This afternoon, I called a client to give him his schedule for next week. I don’t know how we got into the subject, but he was telling me about places he used to live. He mentioned the road that my great grandparents used to live on.

He’s in his 80s so I asked him if he knew them. He did. He was shocked to hear they were my great grandparents. And then I asked him if he knew my grandfather and he did. They used to be good friends.

He told me stories I’ve never heard. He talked about one night back in the 70s when they had stayed up late playing cards. It was after midnight and my grandmother decided to make zucchini bread. He said the kids filed out after that to enjoy midnight zucchini bread.

My mother is one of six.

Anyway, the way he described it. It was like for that one moment I knew her. She died when my mother was 13. I never knew her and I’ve only seen a handful of photos. I never knew much about her. No one ever said anything.

So I cried quietly while he was telling me. That’s the second person who told me about my grandmother at work.

It’s so strange but comforting to know something about the woman I was named after.

Monday, July 6 2026 ——————————————————————

I didn't do well over the weekend. I overate on Saturday and Sunday. Not even like a little over, which I don't worry about. I'm talking like 190% of my daily total of calories.

I have found that pizza is a big issue for me. I had been doing fine but then I had pizza and then I couldn't stop. It wasn't like all at one time. It was spread out. Two slices and a few hours later two more slices and a few hours later...

You get the picture.

It isn't great but it will be fine. I just have to get back to normal this week. I also think I'll do like I did previously with tirzepatide and titrate up on week 4 instead of week 5. I did take my shot 1 day early. It's just easier on Sundays.

Next week I'll be at 5mg. Crazy. It'll be good though. I need it and I want it. It's a very, very useful tool for me.

Oh, I also went over on my spending last week. I blame the last minute sending of the package but either way. I'm cutting it really close this week already but I'm set in the office just with things I bought last week and didn't eat yet. It'll be good.

Everything works out.

…

Also, there is apparently a limit to the length of a list. I found that out the hard way and the beginning of 2026 was cut off. Yikes. I'm glad I noticed before I wasn't able to go back and save it.

Anyway, here is my new diary!