- well...seems like i forgot about this
- a TON of things happened around me and it would be too much to write on here, i've missed too may months.
- Dad left his job because of a back injury but he worked with such lovely people that he still goes to help from time to time. He lives with my grandma now because she's alone and ill and can't do a lot of things on her own. It's been hard for me but it's been even harder for my mom, it's obviously weird seeing him live with her and not with us . His sisters and brother should help him (or at least help their mom) but he's the only one who's sacrificing his own life and family just to stay beside her. I've been seeing him less than when he was working day and night and it's not okay.
- a good thing is that we have a car now!
- before coming to my grandparent's i tried to go out as much as i could but my big cousin works a ton and the younger...well, let's just say that our relationship is not as it was years ago.
- she became so distant, she's absent, doesn't reply to her texts, doesn't tell important things...she's a totally different person. She likes to lash out on her big sister and tell her how different she's got since she found her boyfriend but the truth is that she's the weird one and she doesn't even know. She cusses(which is something she never did before), she stays out day and night without telling her parents, she spends every single day with her boyfriend, she makes plans for us and then forgets about them after an hour and lastly she bottles all of her feelings and doesn't tell me anything. It was my grandma that told me that her boyfriend's dad died and she was having a shitty week, not her. We were like sisters and hearing my grandma telling me "what? you didn't know it?" and having to fake it in front of her was fucking shitty.
- also, what should i do with my life? I really want it to change but when i think about it happening i get scared and go back to my shell...i'm old, i need to have my own life but something's stopping me. Should i find a therapist?(and maybe try to get over my depression and anxiety after 8 years?...)
- So yes, life has been pretty shitty as always but also not the shittiest you know?
mar 15 2018 ∞
aug 21 2018 +