I haven't been writing on here for over a year, have I? I've missed this, and I regret it a lot.

• How have I been? Not bad and not good, does it make sense? I might have previously hinted at this last year but c*vid healed my anxiety, I sound completely crazy, but it's kinda true. I've stopped being anxious before going out, and I started being excited to do so! I don't understand why it happened, maybe it was the distance or the masks, who knows. ps. I still haven't got the virus, let's hope it stays this way!!
• Changes Nothing really changed if I must say the truth; My anxiety regarding job seeking/education is still very present in my life...how does your adult life go on when it feels like you're permanently stuck on the same lightless road? Will it ever get better? Why is it so hard to be an adult?
• On Loneliness Still no friends nor colleagues, most of the time I feel content while being on my own, but there are times when I see my relatives with friends/partners, and I ask myself: Is this normal? Is my life really that weird?
• Possibilities Two huge opportunities opened up, and I've been wishing for at least one of them to work out. I've been wanting to change houses since I was in middle school (more than ten years ago), I remember writing on my diary how much I hated every single one of my neighbours and crying about the impossibility to do anything about it. But, as always, I'm quite cynical, and I just know that I'll be stuck where I am forever.
• Reading I'm trying to cut down the HOURS of phone/pc screen time and using it to read, and I've basically devoured a whole manga series. I hope I can keep this up for a long time, even if my hobby is quite pricey hahaha
  • fun fact: I bought kafka's metamorphosis and when I got out of the store a giant cockroach got in my way...I didn't think about it until I was reading the book yesterday, but that's so funny, isn't it? life's truly weird.
• Beach I've been way more scared of showing myself in a swimsuit this year because a lot of people started filming others and uploading the videos online (fuck y'all btw) but, thank god, there's no one where I go! I've bought two swimsuits, but sometimes I wish I was thinner or that I stopped caring and put on whatever I want to, sigh.
• First Times My grandpa is 73 and NEVER swam before because his mom used to tell him that it was way too dangerous and that he could die(it was in the '50, mind you) but after years and years of trying to convince him we finally got him to buy swim trunks and get into the water and *drum roll* he loves it!! It makes me so happy, you don't understand. This shows how people can ALWAYS change their mindset if they really want to, and how we can always mature and change even when we're older.
• Kittens My grandparents decided to get a new kitty, he's a red cat with long fur, and he's called Leo! Let's hope that Polly likes him.
• Events I've got a new phone, ordered on shein for the first time (no clothes, just stationery!!), cut my hair short for the first time and watched them grow back in a month, bought a tie-dye shirt, dyed my nails black for the first time in over ten years, bought la roche posay skincare, started using hair masks, bought a new pair of shoes, got spotify premium, got a new kindle cover, stopped using liquid foundation.