• life's going to be so different from now on, i can't believe that a year that started so well is ending down the drain like this.
• dad got sick, and now he has to do dialysis every day of his life, i'm so shocked and i still feel like i haven't processed this at all
  • he hasn't been well for the past month, but we all thought that it was a result from c0v1d. His doctor didn't help him and this is where we ended up…
  • i stopped sleeping and had several panic attacks, i almost forgot how those felt.
• I don't know what to do, i feel so helpless.

08

• that hasn't been a single day when dad has felt well, i'm scared
• 5 things: bought bts's book . picked up reading again . dad's still unwell . didn't buy anything with this year's sales, who am i . no wait, i bought a candle that crackles like a fireplace aka free autumnal therapy
• 05: it rained all day, and it's currently raining as i'm writing, wish we could rush to autumn, i'm tired of sweating buckets
  • 5 things: stressed . rainy . music . reading . bored
• mid-month: dad started feeling better and is going back to his normal self, i'm gonna cry
  • my grandparents got a duck, her name's cleo, and she's adorable!!
  • decided to romanticize my life and live in delusion because why not???
  • i've started taking photos everyday once again
  • went to see a bansky art gallery and loved it, i took a ton of photos!!
  • went to my city's festival and bought nothing, it was so boring...sigh
  • the weather has been miserable and extremely windy
  • summer's ending, i'm both thrilled and scared, what's gonna happen now? i still can't decide if i wanna work or study and i need to decide quickly cause September is here already.

09

• the job i was sure i could get isn't available any more…i genuinely didn't want to study again, but it looks like i'll have to.
  • the problem is that I don't like any of the classes that my "school" offers…what should I do? Study something that I hate, or do nothing?
  • If I'll end up going to class, I'll have a real reason to not celebrate my birthday at least.
• i've been going through a quarter life crisis, i feel like i've accomplished nothing yet i'm getting older and so are the people i love.
• my uncle decided to get married to a woman that none of us likes.
  • trust me when I say that we would have loved for him to get finally married (he's 52 and has always been lonely) but not with her. She's not a bad person, and they're close in age, the reason is actually very serious imo?? they want children, but she has a very serious health problem that would get passed on?? but they're too ignorant to understand it??? How do you even make two fifty-year-olds understand basic genetics??
• 5 things: taylor swift. stressed. scared?. bored. tired.
• 06: i've been asked if i wanted to get a Cambridge certificate and i said yes! Now tell me why I have imposter syndrome when I've been reading/listening/using English since I was six!! Why am I scared to get a certification that I've been dreaming of since I was a child??? My mind is truly one big mystery.
  • why do i listen to taylor swift 24/7 when I'm mentally unstable? lmao
  • 5 things: anxious. taylor swift again. future. thoughts. English.
• Bought myself a new pair of black chunky converse!! My last pair is from when I was a teen lmao
• 23: classes haven't started yet, but I've got my backpack ready and bought all the things I needed!
  • can't wait to go back to journaling, I decided to transform my bujo into a junk journal, let's see how it goes.
  • still listening to taylor and taylor only
  • playing pokémon every single day and finding a ton of shiny ones