- 01/08, tired: i'm exhausted, i can't wait for this course to be done. i'm not loving it, not at all.
- is it possible to hate something you've loved since you were a child?
- 09/12, idk any more: things have been going well but i still feel ready to leave this whole course behind and spend christmas peacefully with my family.
- lessons have been going well, extremely well even, but i still feel disappointed in some ways that i don't know how to externalize. i've been trying really hard to do it but i can't find the right words to describe how i feel.
- i'm proud of myself and feel very calm and relaxed about the entire thing, but some days i wish i could stay home??? it feels like i wouldn't lose much by not going to the lessons bc most of the things we do, are things i've studied back in middle school, does it make sense? lmao
- another thing that is making this extremely hard is the fact that both the teacher and the others treat me like a "genius" so i constantly feel under pressure, i always have to be ready to know grammar rules, translations, new words and phrases.
- i feel flattered by the fact that they trust me so much, but i also feel too pressured to always do well. i've never felt like that growing up bc i've always been considered average, no teacher ever recognized my abilities so to be living this situation rn feels unreal??? rewarding but truly unreal.
- 13/14, countdown the course will be done in 18 days and i'm so ready for it.
- during yesterday's break, i talked about books with my teacher and she recommended me one of her faves and she brought it to me today???
- it's a book that i wanted to read for ages, can you believe it?
- 15/23, the end is near i'll be done in 10 days !!! I can't wait to give my exams and be done, then i'll make my christmas tree, listen to christmas music, make biscuits and stay with my family! I'm sooo ready for it.
- one day i'm anxious, the next one i'm calm...i can't understand myself anymore.
- my Indian friend tattooed me with henna, i love it!
- we're watching movies in English in class and there's nothing i hate more. I can't do anything about it tho, i just have to suffer through them lmao
- 24/26, christmassy weekend i've spent the nicest, cosiest, christmassy weekend ever. no worries on the horizon, just a few low-budget christmas films, my family and hot chocos.
- it's nine days until the end of the course, the weather just became waaaaaay colder than before and i'm starting to feel festive. It's just a matter of days before i can start to walk around and see all the pretty lights and christmas trees and decorations around town!
nov 8 2023 ∞
dec 1 2023 +