my friend of five years, for the last two years a model of everything i want (and until recently misconstrued as someone i wanted)

• i want someone to love me like that one day
• i want someone to miss me this much one day
• i want to be that important to someone one day
• i want the person i someday love to love me back
• i want presence, not attention
• i want care that feels like breathing
• i want sunlight and the crush of alpine snow, a love like a gasp of mountain air, soft hands and slow dancing in my cinnamon kitchen framed in billowing white linen curtains
• i want a love that loves me back (giving people love has never meant that they will love you back)