• there's so many things going through my mind at once that i can even organize my thoughts here in a decent way, so i'll just keep writing until my fingers hurt.
• i will praise myself. this week i've been thinking about a few things that changed in me. one of them being that, this year, i really knew how to stand up for myself and for the ones i like. now, i'm the type to confront when somethings bugging me. i'm not intimidated by people like i was. i will show my true self and i do not care, i'm so sorry. i also noticed that my opinions got sharper. and i realized how much smarter i am. and i'm not gonna lie. i still got problems . and by those problems the consequences are keeping shitty people in my life and mourning them . i am pretty sure this is a lack of responsibilities and activities to occupy my mind with. my days are quite monotonous. this will change soon. i'm not reallyifeeling like writing tbh. i started and its making me cringe a little bit. the feeling of rage and annoyance is taking over my body like now .

i also am in pms . also im not in love with anyone at the moment. i jsut keep on searching for thes things to occupy my mind and make me feel something. none of the people ive liked were real. i despise the majority of them now. theyre just not relevant anymore. and they give me the ick. im fighting the urge to roast them now. also i want to run far away from here. to a far place and be sorrounded by nature .

this the meaning of life for me now. nature

• also
• i am losing my mind .
• and i want lots of money