- i'm feeling down for the past few days. nothing excites me anymore. and a few things happenend on christmas that made me very sad and disappointed. i might have made the wrong decision again but i don't have a clue. once i said to myself that i prefer being tortured by the people around me rather than being alone. by myself. but, i'm naturally recluse these days. i don't want to talk, i don't wanna flirt, i don't wanna go on dates, i don't want to watch anything, i don't want to take pictures. i feel ugly inside in and out. but this is not new at all. i've been in this sort of loop for years. i wonder when will my time come. when justice will be made. when will i win. i keep on questioning my morals too. do i make things right? am i doing something that God/the universe doesn't approve? am i weak? i don't know. the worst part is i can feel it gradually happening to my mother too. it saddens me. when will things get better? i am exhausted
dec 27 2022 ∞
dec 27 2022 +