these days i'm trying to stay at home to take care of myself. on monday i cried myself to sleep and also had a breakdown yesterday. i was in pain. i don't know if that's what i was feeling or is just that i'm almost on my period. i don't feel loved. i don't want to talk to the people on my chat. i also judge them a lot. they can't come close to what i'm looking for. i don't know if i'm being fair, i think i have trust issues, i think i'm insecure and don't feel motivated . the guys in my whatsapp annoy me SO MUCH. i send them signs for them to see that i don't want to talk. that they don't interest me romantically but i'm open to being good friend/s. i also realized people are so fucking indecent. theyre so fucking racist and they also hate women. i cant explain here and dont want to . i dont care. i just want to live in peace not scared by everything and feeling the need for protection 24/7/ i saw my dad today. it was ok. i dont think he wants to spend time with me anymore a good thing is that im grateful for my girl friends from here. till now its ok. i got my headphones today and theyre great. my notebook had coil whine but it magically doesnt anymmore and i have no idea of what happened. i ask God to be listen to. to make my wishes come true. my dreams at night are being so sad. i ask him for some good news. something great. thats what i expect everyday.