- i've been thinking so much that i haven't been capable of turning my notebook on, and neither enter this website, pinterest, anything that used to distract me from it. i'm tired of asking God for help. i have no interests, motivation or happiness. all i have inside of me is the fear of the humiliation i might get into, hatred for myself and suffering from being a coward and a terrible person. i'm also incapablee of focusing. i simply don't know what to do. i feel terrible. like i've never been before. at least at the end of the last year, i was happy as i could. i was making plans. i'm pulling everyone away. i don't want to interact, or connect with somebody new. i simply cannot cope with pervesiness anymore. i don't want them to hurt me anymore. i truly hope that karma is real.
- i have lost my faith, i haven't been praying, i haven't been checking on my friends, being productive, nor doing things i like. i'm not sleeping well, exercising or eating well. everything is a mess. my room is a mess. my head is a mess. i can't study, i can't do anything.i wonder iif this is the worst i've ever been. i feel so ashamed. ashamed for failing professionaly. ashamed for not having a relationship, not because i have no options, but because i hate myself, and for this reason, i don't let anyone love me.
feb 16 2023 ∞
feb 16 2023 +