- in the past days i had several panic attacks, my dad's been disappointing me every single day. i've come to the conclusion that he does not like me. he just endures me. cause it's his obligation. he doesn't like spending time with me, he doesn't want to talk, and he just checks up on me when i dissappear. i don't think he's the person i thought he was. and what happened in this weeknd made me feel like i was being left and abandoned all over again. he does not want to be my father, and he'll always do anything he can to make me look like the villain, so that he doesn't face his own flaws. i wish i could say that i wish all the happiness to him but that is not true. i feel a lot of anger inside of me, like i'm about to go mad. he makes me feel like i'm paranoid and i'm losing my mind and stuff. he pretends that he doesn't get what i'm saying. i wish he knew what it is to be left and rejected. i don't wish him happiness, i wish that he became a better person by learning from his own mistakes instead.
- i need a job as soon as i can once i finish my treatment. it's all i'm waiting for. and i pray that god will help me to get out of this.
- i feel confused and angry.
oct 9 2022 ∞
oct 9 2022 +