- last night felt so much like friday to me. i started drinking just because i felt like it, then my former professor from college noticed me and suddenly i got so filled with joy ....... he used to be my school crush alongside another guy from my class. i started following him cause i had a dream about them. the other guy simply does not exist on the internet, i never met someone who was so misterious like?? that bugs my mind.. he seems to be a good person. i wish i could find him again or at least just a picture of him. i remember his full name til this day. i looked it up at the presence paper that was going around. besides that, yesterday my friend told me that she broke off her engagement, which is sad, but i believe she will be happier now. relationships can make us feel very miserable.. the thing is, everything about them kinda bugged me and made me feel so unconfortable because, 6 years ago, when i was in middle school, this friend of mine was trying to get us(her former fiancee) to me, but i believe that it was an strategy to get closer to him. it worked out for her, but i felt used and stupid with some things that i've read at the time. which is so strange cause she acts like nothing happened at all. so weird. i seem to be the only one that gets unconfortable with this. does she sense that? am i fake to the point that she can't read the room? anyways i don't think i would ever do that to someone. but it's just what i think there is no resentiment in my side anymore whatsoever. but it's kinda ???? cause even him got like super unconfortable and i could definetely sense it. truly weird....now i think i can wish the best for her. i really like her a lot, she's my childhood friend. the other thing is.. my relationship with food is not the best rn.. makes me want to starve a bit. which is wrong and ungrateful. i will work on my discipline throught the end of this year. my sleep schedule is also kinda fucked up. but i don't care as much about this part. now i'm gonna start my day and get clean, i'm feeling kinda down and ugly. last night i discovered many new songs, that makes me happy.
nov 22 2023 ∞
nov 22 2023 +