- exactly what the title says. each day that passes i am more leaned to desperation and disappointed with myself. but i'm learning a lot too. now i understand things that i couldn't understand fully, a few months ago. there are good things happening, let's start with it.
- my mom and i are in a good spot, she's feeling energetic again and that makes me happy. we have a trip that we'll actually enjoy in a few days. we'll go out for her birthday. and i'm looking foward to it. another good thing is my treatment finally happening after 22 years suffering from an issue. and i can't wait to see the good results. another good thing, i think, is that i'm learning to change my personality to tolerate more the people i can't confront yet. i think this is an skill Jesus wants me to learn.
- the bad thing is: i feel a lot of pain everyday. and just hurt in general. i feel broken and worthless. at the same time, i have a few dreams for my ffuture. they're unrealistic, but i'll try anyways. i think that, at the end of the day, i just want a simple life and be sorrounded by nature and kindhearted people. i need someone to protect me from evil too. this hopeless feeling always gets the best of me. but i'm still waiting. waiting for a miracle that will change my whole life for good. waiting for someone or something to happen and make justice happen. something that will defend me from this evil people. the people who wish the worse for me. i just want them to respect me and leave me alone. but that's impossible. i have no clue of what my mission on this earth is. and i also feel like my prayers are being ignored but i can't say for sure. i don't know if the problem is me.
jan 17 2023 ∞
jan 17 2023 +