i find it hard to write here. it's not comfortable as it was. my thoughts are being consumeed by you and i feel some sort of agony every single day, i do not know how to cope; i wish i had more privacy in my room. i'm gonna start saying my desires for july.

• this is the month where i cannot say no. i made it a rule for myself. i promise to myself, even though i'm not really good with promises whatsoever. i will try indeed. and not be scared of the outcome

i truly believe my biggest enemy is myself. the thought of wasting my life away has been killing me more than ever. i want someone to fix this. i need something to put my mind on. i want to be happy. music has been helping me a lot . i aalso want to drink different things this month and go to some nice and beautiful places. i would love to. i want moments that i'll recall forever. i miss him already. he has no idea that i'm a mess. i guess i just want to hide this from him forever; the creativity and work ethic are bringing me joy. i've been working in my own way. and hopefully; i'll have the resources to make some masterpieces this month. ;; i really need a new cellphone; my dad is distant from me. im not talking to my best friend. i dont feel like it. sometimes i wake up and the whole world is my enemy. the house becomes annoying sometimes. im grateful for having a cozy house; i just wanted to have more space for myself; so i could bring people here; and by bringing people here i mean him. i have this crippling feeling that i might disappoint him somehow and it just makes me nauseous. that being said, i can't wait to see himm again.