• october 22nd, 2019: 6 am,

i don't know really how to begin on something like this or how i could ever put into the words these feelings. maybe i'm a fool and i'll look back on it - but never regretfully; it's insane how someone could come into your life and there's really no, motive. they're just a part of your life and they just stick with you as such. i wish i were better at describing this feeling but there's no real way to put it anyhow. i know in the beginning, it was an initial fight or flight sequence lol. i could not believe how beautiful you are and how perfect you are for me. how we got along so quickly and how i just was completely mesmerised by your presence. i could not believe that you were real. everything felt like home with you and i wasn't sure how to feel about it. i just, always wanted to be around you and i still feel that. i still feel these weird nervous laughs and these butterflies. which sounds cheesy, but it's like, i can't get enough of you. songs even hit different because they resonate and i can't help but wish you were here or that i was looking over and seeing you. which sounds something out of a film or whatever that's lame. but that's the thing, you remind me of these films i've never understood and these poems people write about that i could never truly feel. everything i feel, sits in place with you. and i guess it's like i've gone mental or i just don't know. i wish i could lose track of all time with you, because it truly feels like there is never enough of any now that i know you. like i just want you to be there every minute of the day. which i know isn't possible or anything like that. i just love you. i feel it all in my heart and there are no real words to describe this feeling. i just know it's real and authentic and there isn't enough time. i want you in all lifetimes, if that's not greedy. i just love you with purity and genuineness. thank you for everything you do and thank you for being a part of my life as you are. i hope to have you forever.