i love it when horror deals with grief and major loss. i like it when its not some monster but just this really uncomfortable and heavy feeling because thats really what is is. its terrifying. bonus points if it was inevitable, there was absolutely nothing you couldve done to stop it.

the fear of wondering if the person you lost knows that you love them. you hope theyre doing okay. you lose yourself and dissociate for a while. you still do things as if they were still here, or as if they are going to return. you hope one day they come back and that everything was all just one big dream. you’re scared and confused. you know you have to eventually grow from this but youre scared to. you dont want them to think you’re over them when you arent. you wish you couldve saw them one last time during that moment but it wouldve hurt more. you wish you couldve found them because you think to yourself that if you were there, then maybe, just maybe, they would still be here. i look for you in everything and everyone. i stare at these old images of you. i look at our old conversations and think about moments we shared. i text you everyday hoping you respond.

i check your socials to see if youve posted anything new. i know the answer but i still hope and pray. i miss you more than anything. this is eating away at me. please come back to me.