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but consider this brief list of underrepresented au’s
- dentist au
- cruise ship au
- met in a cult au
- simultaneously investigating each other for evidence of extraterrestrial origin (amateur conspiracy theorist au)
- park ranger au
- ‘i saw you throw that wrapper on the ground when there’s a trashcan right over there, dickwheeze’ au
- nobody responded to my craigslist sale but you au
- you are not the father au
- landfill au
- wwwf ‘comeback’ au
- neighborhood community association presidential election au
- quality control representative, factory floor. ‘food’ corp au
- bee au
- joust au
- no wonder why you’re the football coach damn you’re fit au
- you’re so wrong i’m going to stop my lecture to tell you why au
- *aggressively argues for whose team is better even though they’re completely different sports* au
- our students think we’re dating au
- a student catches us texting to each other in class oh how the tables have turned au
- we leave each other notes on the blackboards au
- someone’s taking my lunches au
- our classrooms are adjacent to each other and we can always see each other through the door windows au
- i will yell at you even though both our doors are closed to shut up your class jesus christ au
- our students see us leave the same car in the morning and guess what they think au
- i’m the drama teacher and you’re the only who can actually act help me demonstrate this love scene to my students au
- I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friends’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life (jk yes I am)
- I’ve met you in every single lifetime and I always hope it will work out but it doesn’t but I’ll still keep finding you again because those few days/months/years together with you are always so worth it
- I meet and fall in love with you in every lifetime at the same age but your age is always different so it never works out and for the first time I’m meeting you when we’re the same age and I’m horrified that I might fuck this up
- I skipped like four cycles of reincarnation and I know you’re pissed at me for leaving you all those lifetimes but it wasn’t my fault please please will you take me back
- We only remember each other in alternating lifetimes so every lifetime we have to find one another and convince each other that we’re soul mates but half the time I won’t believe you and half the time you’re already dating someone else
- I don’t know how to tell you this but the reason you didn’t see me in our last reincarnation cycle is because for some fucked up reason I was reincarnated as your dog
- We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime
https://absentlyabbie.tumblr.com/post/110016887948/thexth-my-favourite-fanfic-trope-is-for-some
- my favourite fanfic trope is “for some reason we have to platonically share this bed and there is so much sexual and romantic tension we can barely function and at some point during the night one of us is going to end up spooning the other and we’re going to wake up in the morning an awkward tangle of limbs but we’re both going to pretend to be asleep even though we’re actually awake because we think the other is asleep so we can lie like this for just a few more minutes”
- “we catch the same bus home and i always fall asleep, but you always wake me up at my stop”
- “you come into my 24hr diner at the oddest times bc of your weird job but you keep forgetting that we talk because youre always sleep deprived”
- “my neighbour keeps ordering weird shit but they dont want to face the mailperson’s judgement so they keep using my address instead”
- “i run the night slot on campus radio and some jackass keeps calling in to insult my music taste and request high school musical songs instead”
- “escaped to the laundry room to avoid hearing my room-mates having extremely loud sex only to find you’re here doing the same thing”
- “sorry i knocked you out in that bar fight last night, but i brought you to the hospital and stuck around ‘til you woke up to apologize”
- “you were trash talking my favourite character in the cinemas and obviously i need to show you the light, even if i have to buy you a burger to get you to listen”
- “our mutual friend dropped out of this trip at the last minute, so hi i guess we’re spending the next two weeks together”
- “you forgot to remove your snarky sticky note comments in this textbook and since i got kicked out of the library for laughing too loudly, im going to reply to each and every one”
- “i lost my asshole friends in this club and im kinda drunk and youre kinda gorgeous, please help me”
- “since there’s only one can of energy drink left in the store, which we both need to survive the disgustingly boring lecture we just discovered we both have, how about we share it”
modern AUs that I need in my life
- I just woke up from a 6 month coma and I don’t remember anything about the past 5 years but that’s kind of okay because as a trade-off this gorgeous stranger sitting at my bedside is saying he’s my husband
- The benefit of being the only adult in this college course is commiserating about the woes of single-daddom over a beer with the hot professor
- Wait, I’m just the cameraman, I can’t fill in for the missing porn star on this set, wait a second no you don’t understa-
- We’re actors on a popular tv series and our two characters weren’t written to be a couple, but the fans are salivating over our onscreen “chemistry”, and now the director decided to change the script to add more sexual tension - how the hell am I supposed to keep myoffscreen crush hidden now?
- Will you marry me? Also, surprise, I’m actually foreign royalty
- My incredibly attractive new boss is an asshole and I’m 97% positive he’s been consistently staring at my ass whenever I leave the room
- I’m sorry my kid punched your kid in the face, can I make it up to you over dinner?
my college experiences that would make great fic prompts
- “i thought you were my new roommate’s boyfriend so i casually invited you in but you’re actually the RA of the dorm and now you think i want to have sex with you” au
- “i accidentally flooded the laundry room and you really needed to do laundry” au
- “i took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly” au
- “we have to go camping together and share a sleeping bag even though we’re complete strangers” au
- “the cereal dispenser in the dining hall broke while i was getting froot loops and now they’re all over the floor and you blame me ” au
- “we argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside of class” au
AUs for when your OTP are both assholes
- You drive a massive SUV and steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you’re hot AU
- I’m a barista and you’re the obnoxious customer who comes through and orders a venti macchiato while talking on the phone the whole time so I misspell your name in increasingly creative ways every day AU
- I’m a busy businessperson and my barista keeps misspelling my name in increasingly disrespectful ways, honestly, who does this person think they are AU
- We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU
- I saw you trying to hit the “door close” button in the elevator but I made it in and then I pushed every single button to make you later for work, but now we’re stuck in this fucking elevator as it stops at every single floor and I don’t know what to say other than “you started it” AU
- I asked for your help getting a book off the top shelf and and you laughed at my taste and called me a nerd so I shoved you into a table of nonfiction best-sellers and that’s how we both got banned from the quirky community bookstore AU
- I take my grades very seriously and you’re the lazy asshole who asks a ton of off-topic questions to distract the professor and I might be a foot shorter than you but I swear to god I’ll fight you AU
- You tried to barge into a private conversation so I said something devastatingly witty and dismissive but you came back with something even meaner and more clever AU
- Shouting match over the last Thanksgiving turkey at the grocery store AU
pls consider
- crow dad coming into the bar for karaoke night w his loud friends where refreshing grey-senpai works and getting signed up to sing enka bcs bedhead cat thinks it’d be funny (but it’s okay! he doesn’t mind! refreshing grey-senpai laughs too hard at it and the world is ++++ brighter)
- crow dad acquiring an antique mirror & encountering refreshing grey-senpai, a boy trapped in the mirror who gives him enthusiastic thumbs-up signs when he brushes his hair
- company switchboard operator refreshing grey-senpai and new hire crow dad, who keeps calling the switchboard since he doesn’t know which extensions to call, he’s very sorry
- refreshing grey-senpai probably snores lightly, but when crow dad is tired he snores like thunder, an armchair-shopping story
- old man crow dad finally getting silver hairs and joking that he’ll catch up to refreshing grey-senpai
- prohibition au: oversized owl, bedhead cat, and crow dad running liquor across city borders avoiding ushiwaka’s officer team and begrudgingly delivering to trashkawa’s bar only because it’s such a popular place. crow dad doesn’t know how to make mixed drinks and prefers another speakeasy, where there’s a really cute fella?? who can charm the suspenders off any guest and serves crow dad a drink with a lovely smile
- YOUTUBE STAR AU
- midget guardian and shouting baldie filming parkour stunts
- oversized owl and bedhead cat the two greatest vine stars of all time OF ALL TIME
- crow dad’s increasingly hilarious attempts to ask out refreshing grey-senpai immortalized online courtesy of the owlcat bros
- glass-hearted giant probably uploads time lapse craft videos where he’s doing delicate work and his neighbor midget guardian sometimes helps him out
- time lapse because he usually says WELL WHAT IF THE ORIGAMI FLOWERS WERE ON FIRE and glass-hearted giant can’t bear to burn the lovely bouquet he’s folded ok
- angry seaweed and baby carrot aggressively competing for more subscribers until they’re matched up together for a youtube host collaboration extravaganza
- nobody cares what trashkawa is doing in his videos, as long as his face is in them
- piss-poor dye job gamer cat’s playthrough channel, ofc
http://baenase.co.vu/post/118625744748/you-know-that-trope-where-couples-pretend-like
- You know that trope where couples pretend like they’re all lovey dovey when they’re around friends, but argue all the time when they’re alone? Imagine your otp doing the exact opposite. They are always bickering and fighting when there are people around, but once they’re alone they fly into each others arms and kiss and are just stupidly affectionate. Literally everyone thinks they’re sworn enemies, but nah.
(can't find original source for this one ...)
- AU prompt: Person A is thinking sexually graphic or generally odd thoughts and suddenly panics and thinks “If you’re a mind reader, cough right now.” Person B coughs.
http://smurflewis.tumblr.com/post/130201784230/iggycat-someone-needs-to-write-a-the-fire
- Someone needs to write a ‘the fire alarm went off at 3 am and now the cute guy from the flat next door is standing next to me in his underwear’ AU
I understand that a lot of people enjoy writing shipfics where they transplant characters into a college setting. Since some writers may not be in college, or may have graduated a long time ago, I thought I’d offer a helpful list of realistic college meet not-so-cute scenarios. Forget baristas. This is where it’s at.
- I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
- vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room
- my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
- it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here
- hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model
- hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim
- variations of the above
- I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity
- all our friends are drunk
- it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost
- we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for
- humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)
- we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful
- GROUP PROJECT
- #both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be
- #waiting outside for pizza to be delivered and both of ours are super late
- #you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole
- #we live in halls opposite each other and I keep seeing you changing through your window
- #you’re the only other person in the room when I break the printer and I’m panicking (little-smartass)
- Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building
- This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals
- I found your USB drive still in the computer
- I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria
- You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows
- We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
- We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class
- You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf
- Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?
- You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs
- You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry
- What are you doing at this table at the career fair
- Waiting for office hours
- I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today
- Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party
- You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.
- We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop
- You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline
- my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
- we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill
- Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes
- Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash
- Your school mailbox is right next to mine
- I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall
- My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire
- You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class
- My computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center
- we’re both on athletic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit
- You’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance
- What do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?
- its 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
- you’re the fucker who set off the fire alarm with your awful cooking
- I’m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking
- my shower isn’t working can I use yours
- RA mandated floor party
- I couldn’t help but notice you’re watching a show I like instead of studying in the computer lab
- dude your headphones are really loud like I can make out most of Kayne’s lyrics and I’m sitting across the fucking room
- hey the semester’s almost over and I have way too much money on my cafeteria account, do you want anything??? this shit’s just gonna disappear into the college’s pocket otherwise
- THERE IS A BOUNCY CASTLE IN THE OVAL AND I AM VERY EXCITED
- I’ve ordered take out every night this week and you always seem to be my delivery person
- we’re both skipping class to study for a different class
- you live above me and I’m going to murder you if you don’t stop throwing parties Sunday night
- there’s only one study room left in the dorm basement and I don’t want to walk to the library, let’s fight for it
- I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
- The guy with the bibles on the quad has cornered me and is screaming about hell, please rescue me
- lecture room bingo for annoying things your prof says
- you’re obviously high or hungover so I’m going to rescue you and tell the teacher why your answer wasn’t as strange as it sounded, but you’ll owe me
- holy fuck you found me on the roof please don’t be an RA
- your coffee order is taking too long and is making me late for class. turns out you’re in that class too, and you were trying to be late on purpose
- i’ve been looking all over the library for this book, and i can’t find it, can you help me even though you don’t work here
- i got separated from my orientation tour group, can you help me find this one building where i can catch up with them
- “can i copy your homework?” oh shit, i was going to ask to copy yours “well, looks like we’re both fucked.”
- I got the last slice of pizza in the dining hall, and it’s going to be a while until they make some more. you can have this one, i have time to wait, and i know you have to get going soon
- your neighbor somehow connected to your printer and keeps confusedly printing stuff off, eventually prints a job asking where your room is and if they can pitch in for toner/paper in exchange for printing
- “i am 100% certain that that is the umbrella i lost the last time it rained, i LOVE that umbrella and it was really expensive! who’s this asshole using it??”
- you go to the library on the same days every week and the same library worker keeps helping you
- you’re both late for class because you’re in the computer lab trying to print something off but the printer is showing an ERROR
- you regularly catch someone sleeping in back of this lecture but they look so beat down and pathetic that you start bringing them coffee and a copy of your notes from last time
- “hey you live in my dorm right? can we walk back together so neither of us has to pass by the frat houses alone?”
- i just witnessed you lose my last quarter to the vending machine, do you want some of my doritos?
- i really need to pee and you’re the least sketchy person in this library, so can you watch my bag?
- we’ve both been staring at the same dehydrated cafeteria pizza slice for 10 minutes in horror and in hunger, maybe we should split it
- saturday night, we both do our laundry and study at the same time. the night you didn’t show up, i got worried
- Imagine Person A of your OTP dying from a gaping chest wound. Person B is frantically trying to stop the bleeding when Person A’s eyes flutter open and they whisper faintly, “My eyes are up here, asshole.”
i’m always a slut for a christmas au
- “i know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside”
- “i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years”
- SNOWBALL FIGHTS
- “hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cookingburning - whoaaa now that’s just embarrassing? step aside i’ll handle this”
- person a seducing person b into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall (”oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there????”)
- “you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”
- “YES I BOOBY TRAPPED THE PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU DO THIS EVERY FUCKING YEAR”
- “i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”
- I KNITTED YOU A JUMPER
- MY MOM KNITTED YOU A JUMPER
- “we’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth”
- “i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket”
- “’it’s a wonderful life’ aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* “YOU MONSTER”
- “we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we’re just…staring… at each other…”
- “YOU DON’T LIKE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE? WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE”
- TREE DECORATING (bonus points if one of them is doing it completely wrong omg why am i in love with you)
- “we took our kids to santa’s workshop and they both wished we would get together”
- FRIENDS AU - “our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt i never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl”
- “we’re co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff christmas party and admitted your love for me i don’t know how to act around you now”
- DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”)
- TEACH ME HOW TO SKI (lol jk i know how you’re just so fucking cute)
- “there’s a storm and omg i’m losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas”
- PULLING YOU IN FOR A KISS WITH A SCARF
- “i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”
just another really long 'au's i really want' post
- you’re the drummer for my brothers band and i find you really hot AU
- lost in a random small town and you show me around AU
- accidentally broke into your apartment because i was drunk AU
- i found your dog wondering the streets so i decided to come and return him AU
- i audition to model in your music video and we end up hitting it off AU
- we get seated next to each other on a delayed flight AU
- co-stars whose characters date each other on the show AU
- pretending to date bc reasons AU
- you’re a hot surfer and i’m an awkward person working at an ice cream stand on the beach AU
- accidentally found and read your diary AU
- i didn’t know you were my teacher AU
- woke up with amnesia AU
- you’re a devil and i’m an angel AU
- you’re a jock and i’m into theater AU
- secretly have to date so our parents don’t find out AU
- fame has gotten to your head so you were sent off to live with country relatives AU
- pretending to date you because someone was obnoxiously hitting on you AU
- i’m in a lame band and you’re the towns bad boy/girl AU
- modern day romeo and juliet AU
- we actually can’t stand each other but for some reason we talk everyday AU
- ended up meeting in prison and now we’re in love AU
- cross-country road trip gone wrong AU
- stuck in a horrible zombie apocalypse AU
- we fucked once and somehow keep bumping into each other AU
- has to share a cab because there’s a thunderstorm ahead (and then gets stuck in ridiculous NY/LA traffic) AU
- you’re a ghost and i’m a human and somehow we fall in love with each other AU
- met on a cruise ship AU
- get’s lost on an island together AU
- we went on a long road trip and got into a car crash and we’re the only two who survived AU
- gang member AU
- i’m pregnant but it’s not yours AU
- we go to the same coffee shop every evening to do homework but we never speak to each other until today AU
- end up getting married in vegas although we’re total strangers AU
- you apply to be my roommate AU
- greasers / socs AU
- we met in the summer and now i go to your school but you act like a typical jerk AU
- it’s the 50’s / 60’s and we’re in love but our love is forbidden because of law AU
- it’s the 50’s / 60’s and our love is so sweet it causes toothaches AU
- we work at the same 50’s diner AU
- i’m visiting your country for vacation and you show me around AU
- modern day beauty & the beast AU
- rich / poor AU
- zombie falls in love with a human AU
- hunger games AU
- we runaway together and now we’re hiding from our parents and the police with no food, money, or clothes AU
- alice in wonderland AU
- detention on a saturday afternoon AU
- nothing but a fragment of ones imagination AU (as in a coma & they imagine each other being real)
- we rob places together as a couple and get away with it AU
- all boys boarding school AU
- best friends when we were young and then you moved and now we meet again at college AU
- ouran host club AU
- arranged marriage AU
- we met at a really strict summer camp and ended up breaking all the rules together one by one AU
- asylum AU
- war AU
- we both have cancer and go to the same support group AU
- we decide to play a game of chicken together which leads to one thing or another AU
- we’re both in conservative relationships so we decide to sneak off and be each others friends with benefits AU
- we’re best friends and we take each others virginity’s AU
- we dated when we were younger and now we’re step siblings AU
- finds a death note and uses it to their advantage AU (based off of the anime)
- our friends put us on a blind date AU
- i’m only your friend because we smoke weed and get high together AU
- ‘i guess we’ll have to share the bed’
- 'maybe we should pretend to date’
- 'oh no….look like we trapped in this closet together….’
- 'my room mate is kind of hot?????’
- You forgot
- I can’t go alone to my ex’s wedding
- Omg our car broke down in a snowstorm
- Hot single dad hires broke babysitter
instead of a coffee shop au consider instead a hell’s kitchen au and let me explain u why
- ur otp has to live in close quarters in the dorms
- making out in the pantry
- gordon ramsay
- sexual tension at the fish station
- unfriendly competition
- gordon ramsay
- s a b o t a g e
- if they win the challenges they get to go on neat day trips together
- if they lose the challenges they have to do manual labor
- think of the possibilities this presents
- !!!!!
- gordon ramsay
- “Who wouldn’t be angry you ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!”
- “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“
- “Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
- “Fuck I feel like I got hit by a car… Wait I did? And it was your car?”
- “The skirt is short on purpose.”
- “I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people.”
- “So why did I have to punch that guy?”
- “I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.”
- “I hope you know that my name is actually ____.”
- “Please stop petting the test subjects. ”
- “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
- “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle"
- “So what if I broke my arm I’m still doing it.”
- “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
- “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
- “You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.”
- “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
- “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”
- “your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it” au
- “we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice” au
- “i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways” au
- “i’m a prince/ss and you’re my bodyguard and we’re so not supposed to bang but we kind of did anyways” au (bonus: limo sex is great sex)
- princess diaries style “i grew up not knowing i was royal and suddenly my royal grandparent showed up out of nowhere and told me i was so now i guess i’m the heir to the throne and you’re my crush from my pre-royal days but i still have a crush on you” au
- alternately, “i grew up not knowing i was royal and now i guess i’m heir to a throne and you’re the guy who’s supposed to be teaching me how to be royal bc i suck at it and oops we made out” au
- “i’m a prince/ss from a small country nobody’s heard of and i’m in college pretending not to be royal and you’re another student who’s always calling me out on my bs” au
- “my country’s going through some issues so i’m here in hiding and you’re a civilian who lives in the same apartment complex as me” au
alright but why does no one write colorblind character AUs???
- you accidentally took my bag instead of yours and i don’t know your name so i yelled “YOU IN THE YELLOW SHIRT” but you didn’t respond so i yelled “HEY ASSHOLE” when i finally caught up with you… and apparently your shirt is red??
- we’re doing a lab in chemistry with the “flame test” where you set an element on fire and we’re supposed to record what color the flame is, but i have no fucking clue what color it’s supposed to be so i’m copying your answers and now you think i’m trying to cheat
- i thought this tomato was ripe but it’s actually green and you saw me take a bite out of it and whispered “hardcore”
- if you ask me “what color is this” one more time i’m going to punch you out don’t think i won’t
- did you know i can’t be a police officer in certain states??? like what the fuck i will fight the system and become a police officer goddamn it, my partner can record that the perp’s shirt was fucking purple
- you’re too polite to tell me that the colors of my outfit clash horribly but the jokes on you because i actually know what colors they’re supposed to be (because there’s an app for that!) and i just like making your eyes bleed
OBLIGATORY 'AUS I REALLY WANT' POST
- incredibly long crosscountry train ride AU
- police procedural AU
- bookstore AU
- reluctant teammates that save the world together AU
- platonic living together AU
- lawyers AU
- stuck-in-an-airport-because-the-flights-were-SO-VERY-delayed-and-it’s-like-two-am AU
- sent to live with cousins AU
- pretending to be siblings because of reasons AU
- teaming up to rescue respective abducted children AU
- pseudo-adopting-the-runaway-i-ran-into AU
- forget high school students AU i want a high school teachers AU
- law school AU
- HERE HAVE SOME MORE
- on the same college tour AU
- trapped in a bank during a robbery AU
- forced to share a table at the coffee shop a couple days in a row because crowded coffee shop and no room AU
- DOCTORS AU
- medical school AU
- ride the same bus together literally every day AU
- vet clinic AU
- 'i'm pretending to be ur bff bc u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u' AU
- college professors AU
- on a train together and the train is stopped in the middle of nowhere for some reason AU
- 'I was third wheeling with my best friend and his/her bf/gf at the amusement park when I got stuck sitting on a two seated roller coaster with some stranger and something happened so now we are stuck almost at the top and I hate heights but at least they are really hot' au
- LIFE GUARDS WORKING AT A WATER PARK AU
- 'we got partnered up to take care of a fake!baby for health class for a month and I have been taking it home to take care of it bc you don't want too but I've had enough im about to sledge hammer the child anD YOU SO YOU BETTER STEP THE FUCK UP AND FUCKING HELP ME TAKE CARE OF THIS PLASTIC CHILD OR SO HELP ME' au
- 'we are on a field trip with our class hiking and you got distracted by something and I HAD to stay back to get you bc buddy system and fuck where did everyone just go we're lost shit and theres no signal up here we're screwed and im going to die bc of your dumb ass fuck the buddy system and yOU (no but really i wouldn't mind you are seriously hot if we make it out alive call me)' au
- 'its 2 am, I have been traveling for 48 hours straight from plane to plane and you won't stop irritating me stop doing that thING I WANT TO SLEEP GOD DAMN IT AND THIS PLANE ISN'T LANDING FOR ANOTHER 12 HOURS IM NOT DEALING WITH THIS FOR THAT LONG EVEN IF YOU ARE CUTE AS HELL' au
- 'I came home from the dog park with the wrong fucking dog they looked exactly alike and had the same color collar fuck diD I JUST DOG NAP SOMEONES DOG AND DID SOMEONE DOG NAP MINE (ok not that mad bc I called you from the number on the collar and we met up giving eachother our dogs sorry for the mix up and shit you are attractive)' au
- 'you left your facebook up in the apple store and I took a stupid picture of me posting it with a status bc you forgot to log out hA but also you are hot and I added myself as a friend hope you don't mind' au
- 'my cat got stuck in a tree so I climbed to get him out but then the big branch that helped me up broke and now Im stuck up here with no way to get down with my cat and you're a really hot firefighter this is really fucking embarrassing pls help get us down before i die of humiliation' au
- 'im trying to fish for the first time on my own and im failing miserably at it and I hate you for catching 8 fish in the last 15 minutes fuck you and also how the hell are you doing that teach me' au
- 'we're at a kissing booth and I need to do this for charity and you have come back here 5 times already having paid like 30 dollars just for a kiss from me ask me out already so you don't need an excuse or need to empty your wallet to fucking kiss me' au
- 'we were jogging in the park beside one another and it suddenly got competitive and we ended up racing but you/or I tripped over something aND HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT IS THAT A FUCKING DEAD BODY' au
- 'found a kitty in a box and it was too cute to leave and I came home to our dorm, I know you're allergic to cats and we're not allowed to have animals in here but can we keep her???? please just until we find a new home looK AT THIS CUTE LITTLE FACE' au
- 'looking for a certain book in the library and this part is dark and sketchy and I feel like im in a horror movie and holy shit you scared the hell out of me so I ended up knocking over a row of books which caused a domino effect so now 3 rows and if they catch us they'll make us pay for damages and im a broke college student rUN AWAY' au
- 'I was working out at the gym and the girls locker room is under construction and I don't have time to go home and shower bc I have class so I used the boys locker room since no one was around bUT THEN YOU WALKED IN AND NOW SHITS AWKWARD HELLO WE ARE BOTH NAKED AND IDK WHAT TO DO' au
- 'I was staying after school at the library for a project when I heard music from the music room and I peaked in and shit you are really musically talented don't stop I want to hear more' au
- 'im at the mall as an elf for santas helper and I look like an idiot but I need the extra money and shit what the hell is my (hot) nemeses doing here and nO THEY SEE ME AND ARE COMING THIS WAY FUCK MY LIFE' au
- "i just committed a crime and i need to use you as a hostage i am so sorry" au
- you were my rival in first grade and damn you’ve gotten really hot since then au
- i was shrunk to 4 inches tall by a witch and now i kinda live in your kitchen without you knowing au
- i am actually good at math but the math tutor is really hot so i’m pretending to be dumb au
- two strangers locked inside a grocery store at three am together au
- i’m mute and you’re the lead singer of my favorite band who just pulled me on stage to sing with you au
- who can sell the most cookies contest au
- we’re strangers but i absolutely hate your music taste and i feel the need to tell you this on a crowded subway au
- i’m a fisherman and you’re a mermaid who got tangled in one of my nets au
- i purposely get your coffee order wrong just so you’ll talk to me again au
- we’re both sick and we both grabbed for the last can of soup at the store au
- tree climbing contest but we both got stuck up on the top branches and now we have to wait for the fire department au
- you’re singing my favorite song but you’re singing it wrong au
- you’re the crazy cat person next door and your cats keep on wandering into my yard au
- i’m a ghost and you’re a ghost hunter au
- you’re my siblings’s best friend and i absolutely hate you but pretend to be my boy/girlfriend to piss off my family au
- you look exactly like the main character in my novel au
okay but instead of coffee shop AUs
- Modern royalty AUs
- Accidentally read his/her diary AUs
- Egyptologists AUs
- Rockstar and groupie AUs
- Book club AUs
- Met at comic con AUs
- Lifeguard AUs
- 1920s con artists AUs
- Running from the police AUs
- Librarian AUs
- Rebels against the government AUs
- Internet friends AUs
- Time traveling AUs
- Struggling artists AUs
i hear someone wanted some aus
- both wearing the exact same outfit on the metro au
- two separate robbers breaking into the same house au
- one is too short to reach a can of soup at the supermarket au
- their dogs start uncontrollably barking at each other in the quiet vets office au
- one accidentally punched the other in the face while gesturing wildly au
- one breaking into the others house accidentally when drunk au
- they had the same friends for multiple years but somehow never met until some birthday party au
- 2 elite spies hired to stalk each other at the same time au
- adds “we just caught our alternate universe selves making out and now everything is super awkward” to list of shipping tropes that need to be implemented everywhere
http://lire.tumblr.com/post/85486942358/tickatocka-i-really-want-an-i-accidentally
- i really want an “i accidentally broke into your house/apartment because my friend lives next door to you and i was in the area, drunk, and i thought i was climbing into the right window and falling asleep on the right couch (and i didwonder when my friend got two cats but i didn’t question it) so now i’m hungover and shirtless in your living room so um hi howya doin” au
- "we wore matching halloween costumes to this party" au
- "we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled" au
- "tried to get the candy bar that didn’t drop out of the vending machine and now my hand is stuck can u help me out" au
- "we’re the only ones on campus who didn’t go home for christmas" au
- "we both got in separate bar fights downtown and now we’re waiting in the ER comparing stories" au
- "accidentally fell in your lap while standing on this crowded bus" au
- "can u help me sneak my cat into my dorm" au
- "accidentally got assigned the same library study room so I guess we’ll have to share for the semester" au
- "It’s raining and u forgot your umbrella so come over and stand under mine while we wait for the bus" au
- "I rented the apartment above your flower shop and in the last two months you’ve gotten a new flower I’m allergic to so I keep buying bouquets until I can figure out which kind it is" au
- "I know you’re just trying to take a smoke break but we ran out of matches and it’s Chanukah can I steal you for five minutes" AU
- "We both forgot to buy candles until the last minute and now there’s only one box left in the store" AU
- "My friend dragged me to their grandma’s ridiculous sufganiyot party and I don’t know anyone here but holy crap that person’s cute" AU
- "We are out of potatoes we are OUT OF POTATOES the latkes aren’t done this is not a drill please help" AU
- "I accidentally set the kitchen on fire frying things and you are an attractive firefighter" AU
- "What do you mean you’ve never played strip dreidel LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS PERVERSION OF THE GAME" AU
- "We’re the only two people at this office ‘holiday’ party who seem uncomfortable with the way it’s all transparently Christmas stuff so let’s talk over here in a corner about how much we hate everything" AU
- "This Chinese restaurant is so crowded on Christmas Eve do you mind if we share a table?" AU
- "You seriously want me to teach you how to knit, just to make ugly Chanukah sweaters and prove a point?" AU
- "I agree with you that Chanukah is a minor holiday that we’re only making a big deal out of because of cultural forces surrounding Christmas but since we’re already at this youth group party in the synagogue basement do you maybe want to dance? :D?" AU
fun holiday aus for you to consider
- we both wore ugly sweaters to this christmas party because the invitation didn’t say it’s formal au
- you slipped on a patch of ice and i happened to be walking behind you and you fell into my arms wow you’re really attractive au
- our landlord really went all out with the mistletoe, huh? au
- my sister told me to buy this crappy toy for my niece and you work here please help me find it. it’s black friday and i’m afraid au
- you need to stop your drunken caroling outside of my window at 2 am au
- you’re kind of a scrooge and it’s up to me to show you the true meaning of holiday spirit hallmark movie style au
- you left your christmas tree lights on over night and set the apartment building on fire. hey i live on the floor below you au
- you keep coming into the store i work at to buy wreaths, what are you doing with all of these wreaths? au
- you were walking in front of me when you tripped over your own foot and knocked over the christmas tree in the park. let me help you up and we’ll try to fix the damage au
my college experiences that would make great fic prompts
- “i thought you were my new roommate’s boyfriend so i casually invited you in but you’re actually the RA of the dorm and now you think i want to have sex with you” au
- “i accidentally flooded the laundry room and you really needed to do laundry” au
- “i took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly” au
- “we have to go camping together and share a sleeping bag even though we’re complete strangers” au
- “the cereal dispenser in the dining hall broke while i was getting froot loops and now they’re all over the floor and you blame me ” au
- “we argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside of class” au
some oddly specific aus that no one asked for
- “our grandfathers were mortal enemies during high school and they found out we go to the same school and keep trying to get us to sabotage each other and you’re super into it but like… i kind of have a huge crush on you so i’m having a hard time??” au
- “i walked into this restaurant and you thought i was your blind date and i just kind of went with it because i don’t want to eat alone” au
- “i’m a cab driver and you’re late to a business meeting and you are literally the most demanding pretentious piece of shit i’ve ever had the displeasure of driving but i also kind of want to fuck you in that suit” au
- “i started a bird watching club at school and you are the only one who showed up at the first meeting so now i love you” au
- “you’re my neighbor and your grandparents are coming to visit and you’ve apparently been feeding them a lie about how you’re dating me to get them off your case so could i please be your pretend date for like two days you will pay me in concert tickets and mac and cheese” au
- “my friend told me lick your mailbox on a dare and when i went to do the dare you were leaving the house to get your mail but i didn’t notice so now you’re staring at me as i lick your mailbox” au
- “i fell asleep on you and drooled all over your shoulder in a theater during a really bad movie and you were too nice to shove me off” au
- “my best friend owns a restaurant and you wrote a bad review of it in the local paper so it has become my goal to track you down and fight you” au
- “i accidentally set your plant on fire and i felt super guilty so i went to the store to buy you another plant but they ran out of the plant that you had and i didn’t know what other kind of plant you liked so i may or may not have bought you enough plants to fill a small greenhouse?” au
really feelin that (fake) engagement AU aesthetic so consider the following
- i hate commitment but my dad’s dying wish is to see me get married and you’re an old family friend i ran into at the airport on my way to visit him so hey let’s get engaged
- we’re only engaged to get our parents off our backs and you’re in love with somebody else so feel free to hook up with them idc i’m not jealous (yes i am)
- i proposed to you as a joke but my mom (who’s been wanting me to settle down) thought it was serious and we’re kind of going along with it until we can break it to her gently
- our parents are forcing us into an arranged marriage and we hate each other but now i’m in love with you and i don’t think it’s mutual
- we were both drunk when you proposed to me and i accidentally posted about it across social media so now we’re hungover and trying to figure out this mess bc we’re not even dating
- you need a plus-one for your brother’s wedding so i’m going as a favor but there’s been a misunderstanding and now your whole family thinks we’re engaged
- you broke off your engagement with your long-time boyfriend/girlfriend who you were supposed to bring home to meet your family so now you need me to pretend to be them
- you are never home when the mail comes so i always have to take your packages you fucker
- you never open your door for children on halloween so i always pay the kids to smear your door with shaving cream
- your bike always stands in front of mine in the cellar and i nearly break my neck when trying to get mine
- you gave me your key to take care of your flowers while youre gone but i decided to take all your food as payment and you are so not amused
- my printer isnt printing anymore and my papers are due tomorrow so im on my knees in front of your door begging to use your printer when the old lady from above passes us and thinks im proposing to you
- eurovision song contest is on but my tv is so small and i saw you have a big ass television, so i brought over some popcorn and wodka. deal?
- the neighbour above us keeps being really loud and we are done with talking to him so we meet up to plan our revenge
- im just here to tell you that you need to stop taking showers at 3 am. get your shit together you nerd
- we always run into eachother on the stairs but we’ve never said more than hello but when we found out that we both hate the other neighbours, we became friends
- you lost your key and i allowed you to stay in my apartment until the locksmiths arriveseactivated
- we’re watching the same sports game but apparently youre for the other team so im trying to cheer louder than you
- i came home drunk and wouldnt stop knocking on your door. when you open i keep telling you to get out of my apartment
- after a rough party night i find you sleeping on the stairs but since im still a little asshole all i do is put a blanket over you and a pillow under your head
- during a storm all the lights went out and now youre in my apartment bc youre afraid of the dark but i want to kick you out again since all you do is keep telling cheesy one liners
- you knocked furiously on my door to tell me to stop having loud sex but when i appear fully clothed in front of you, we both are disturbed by the thought of it being the old lady from above
http://preciouswlw.tumblr.com/post/156017497578
- my favorite underappreciated au idea is “everyone is affected by some sort of love spell and falls in love with person A but person B’s behavior curiously doesn’t change at all”
http://ignify.tumblr.com/post/139750932399/alrightevans-i-just-saw-a-thing-on-fb
- i just saw a thing on fb like ‘does somebody wanna be fake engaged to me for like 2 hours to try free wedding cake samples’ and im just…………………imagine ur otp
http://bisexualjamesvega.tumblr.com/post/141612910993/bitchfacejaeger-cringe-attacks-i-overheard
- i overheard these two guys in the hallway at my school and one of them was like “you always look hot dude… no homo tho” and then like 5 seconds later he yelled “sike!” and slapped the other dude’s ass. Imagine your otp
http://dutchster.net/post/141580520805/diminuendodaydreams-let-gavin-free
- Soulmate au where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soul mates skin as well.
- Imagine having a super artistic soulmate who draws flowers and designs and really beautiful patterns all over their arms and person 2 just sits there and watches the little lines appear on their arms and they can’t stop smiling and it’s their favorite part of the day
- Imagine person 1 being super forgetful so they scribble down all the places their appointments are and person 2 tries to decipher them and figure out where they’re at and they meet and they see their writing on their hand from across the waiting room/ coffee shop/ etc. and they scramble to find a pen and write ‘found you’ on the back of their hand and person 1 sees it and they lock eyes and
- imagine person 1 drawing a giant penis on their forehead because they’re an asshole
- The girl that everyone knows but never talks to is a witch. If desperate, people got to her for solutions. She helps, but for a price. One day she comes to you in need of a favor, and in return she promises the memories she took from you nearly a year ago in a deal you no longer remember.
autopilot aus via this reddit thread
- Not too weird because it does make sense, I recently moved to the apartment directly above the one I used to live in. My former roommate leaves the door unlocked. The frequency at which I just storm in and enter my empty old bedroom is staggering.
- I filled my car with gas and, when I got home, realized that I had not paid. I went back to the station and told the clerk what I had done. She thought she was missing a payment but the station was really busy at the time so she wasn’t exactly sure. I paid for my stolen gas and went about my way.
- Answered my cell phone “[911 center] what’s the location of your emergency?” Makes my spouse laugh, my friends roll their eyes, and scares the fuck out of telemarketers.
- Got into my car with coffee and a newspaper. Carefully held the rolled-up newspaper whilst hurling the coffee onto the passenger seat.
- Texting my wife while cashing out at the grocery store. She had just done laundry so I wanted to thank her. Rather than typing, I spoke aloud to the cashier saying ‘thanks, love you’
- Pulled into my complex, walked up the stairs, my keys wouldn’t open the door and then I realized it had been seven years since I had lived there.
- I had to go get groceries one day because my roommate and I were going to cook some stuff. I told her I’d get the supplies, if she would cook. So off I went to the supermarket. Biked there, locked my bike, went inside and ordered a beer. Yup. I went to a bar instead of to the supermarket.
- ‘we 100% need to pretend to be married on this undercover mission for it to work’ au
- ‘you’re new on the job and i’m the one who’s gotta show you the ropes’ au
- ‘i’m a witness protection agent and i’ve got to keep an eye out for you but if you don’t stop talking i will shoot you my goddamn self’ au
- ‘we work in the x files department of the fbi and you won’t stop talking about aliens being real’ au
- ‘you’re my loving significant other and i assume you’re harmless until i see your face pop up on a most wanted alert in the cia database’ au
- ‘you accidentally handcuffed us to each other and now our boss won’t unlock it until we learn to get along’ au
- ‘we’re both traffic cops and we have a bet to see who can give out the most traffic tickets at the end of the month’ au
- ‘you mass send everyone emails of cop memes instead of just to me because you’re really bad at gmail’ au
- ‘we’re both mall cops and we periodically have races on the segways’ au
- ‘you showed up to the crime scene today in heelys and now you won’t take them off’ au
- ‘we’re both federal agents working undercover for different branches of the gov’t and inadvertently trying to arrest each other for a crime’ au
- ‘we’re both park monitors but you take this job way too seriously so i keep encouraging littering and hogging the swings from little children’ au
- how many times do i have to push you into the water before you stop singing the entire soundtrack of ‘the little mermaid’ this isn’t the ocean please shut up
- we’re both regulars but usually at different times. now we’re here at the same time and bond over that weird guy who’s literally always here swimming his laps in this weird style, wow you noticed that too?? can we share your lane to escape his flailing arms??
- we share annoyed looks over that one couple that’s taking up three lanes and keeps us from our ~serious swimming
- we are the couple that’s swimming deliberately slowly and we thrive on everyone’s pissed off looks
- you keep complaining about how much better it would be if we were at the ocean so naturally i make you go down the slide with me until you stop
- you said ‘let’s see if we can make out on the slide’ and i was like ‘okay’
- you wanted to show off your supposedly a+ swimming skills but then your leg started cramping and i had to pull you out all life guard like which you seem to find really embarrassing but also really hot
- you wanted to see if i could understand you underwater but all i hear is muffled screaming and bubbles since you don’t know that i use this opportunity to kiss you. after two seconds we have to come up and while we’re gasping for air you’re like ‘i can’t believe it worked!!!’
- ‘i’m sure that if we slide together we’ll be faster, yes we absolutely have to lie half on top of each other for this, do it for the speed!!’
list of au’s to consider where one or both of ur otp is a hot mess
- ‘i met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night’ au
- 'i’m an ikea employee and every day for the last week i’ve had to ask you to leave the store bc you keep coming in and sleeping in the beds seriously are you homeless or something i can call a shelter’ au
- 'i don’t know who you are but we keep running into each other on the street and getting into screaming arguments over the stupidest things and i’m actually looking forward to our next meeting bc you’re annoying as hell but gdi you’re hot as fuck and its kind of fun to argue with you’ au
- 'i’m in my underpants in a laundromat waiting for my clothes to get washed and your clothes are in the machine next to mine and i noticed that when you put your clothes in they were all covered in blood what the fuck’ au
- 'last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us’ au
- 'last night was supposed to be a one night stand but we drunkenly got each other’s names tattooed on each other’s ass cheeks so now its kind of hard to forget you’ au
- 'you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life’ au
- ‘you’re lying on the floor of the movie theater crying and i’m the employee who has to tell you another movie starts in five minutes so you have to leave and i’m really sorry but im also confused as to why a documentary on lightbugs affected you so much’ au
- 'i found you sleeping on my balcony when i went out to water my plants why are you here and more importantly how did you get here we’re eighteen floors up’ au
- 'i’m having a minor breakdown in the middle of bed bath and beyond and you’re a bewildered shopper who wants to buy plates but also to make sure i’m okay bc im wailing a little bit in the kitchenware section’ au
- 'i asked a staff member and they said you’ve been coming to the pound every day to play with the dog i’m taking home today and that’s why you’re getting weirdly emotional’ au
- 'why are you dancing in your underwear to kelly clarkson in a public bathroom while brushing your teeth’ au
- ‘i called the wrong number and started talking about my life and you only interrupted me after a few a few minutes of me revealing some pretty personal stuff and now youre invested in my life troubles’ au
- ‘you’re a vet and i’m pleading with you to save my goldfish and you’re the first vet i’ve visited to not ask me if i’m sure i don’t want to go and buy another goldfish for three dollars’ au
- 'it’s my turn to open up the cafe today and you were sleeping under one of the tables when i came in and i don’t know what to say so i’m just sweeping awkwardly around you’ au
- 'i’m drunk on public transport and you’re high and we both keep looking at each other knowingly’ au
- 'you found me in a mall crying over a bowl of noodles i dropped and i s2g im not usually like this im just having a really weird week’ au
- 'you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you’re really hot so i just went with it and now we’re heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you’ au
- ‘we keep getting arrested at the same protests and at this point i think i’m only starting fights with policemen so i can sit next to you in holding’ au
- ‘you’re the on-call doctor on saturday nights and i’m purposely injuring myself so i can attempt to chat you up while you give me stitches but i s2g the first four times were accidents i just got too attached’ au
- ‘you climbed into the taxi next to me and passed out and the taxi driver made me haul you out of his taxi so he can get more customers and now i’m on the side of the road holding you up by your armpits and hoping you don’t vomit on me’ au
- ‘we started going home together but i was convinced i knew a faster way to your apartment so we took a wrong turn and now we’re lost and drunk and a little cold’ au
- ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’ au
- ‘i’ve had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i’m so sorry’ au
- ‘I got in my car and you were sleeping in the backseat who the hell are you and how did you get into my car’ au
- ‘we take the same elevator every day and due to a misunderstanding I assumed you didn’t speak english and I’ve been talking to my friend about how hot you are for three weeks and apparently my friend has known from the start but you agreed not to tell me bc you both think its hilarious what the fuck’ au
- ‘we somehow got stuck overnight in an ikea and I just want to go to sleep in one of the display beds but you’re slowly convincing me that it’d be fun to see how much shit we can get into before the morning staff come to
feb 1 2017 ∞
jul 4 2017 +
jul 4 2017 +