OLD:

• 'I feel like a monkey who's lost her banana' - Bennett
• 'Academy Laura Gosford to all residential staff... Has anyone stolen our washing?' - Geek Camp
• Geek Camp film interview:
  • Interviewer: 'So, what do you think of Peter?'
  • Jordan: 'Oh, he's totally insane, but we wouldn't want him any other way.'
• 'Your depression looks like a porcupine!' - Poppy
• 'Yeah, but they're all nutty... and one's a communist!' - Poppy, on Newsteadians
• 'You're too gay to be a lesbian!' - Becky

Newstead:

• 'You're so cute you make my ovaries ache!' - Sarah Pine
• 'Ferrero Rocher totally prove the existance of God. Now that's intelligent design!' - James
• 'Your face makes such a good headrest!'
• 'But if you go to East London, everyone's from an ethnic minority. You have to play 'spot the white guy' in Ilford, and when you do find one they're bloody Polish!' - Hira, Yr12 German
• 'Yeah, I get that sometimes... my clavicle is so uncomfortable!' - James
• 'You know your mum? Not her cunt, just your mum...'
• Handy MUN phrases:
  • 'La France est/n'est pas d'accord!'
  • 'Ta guele/mère/race!'
  • 'Ceci est mon chapeau de gloire!'
  • 'Arretez! L'heure du marteau!'
  • 'Vous êtes jaloux de ma moustache!'
• Tutoring:
  • I: I always get chocolate from the Easter Bunny.
  • J: We don't have the Easter Bunny, it's just from my parents.
  • R: Yeah, everything's just your parents doing it. Well, apart from Father Christmas, of course.
  • J: Well, obviously.
• 'Please bring a pillow to rest your bowels on...' - Translation of pig latin toga party invitation
• 'Falling for a boy and developing a degenerative disease are the same!' - James, on lesbianism
• 'I love this school, everyone's mental!'
• 'Thinking laterally, there's moss on the sky' - Kirsty
• On tongues:
  • Nori: 'It's not about the size, it's what you do with it!'
  • Alix: 'I pretend to be a cow, mostly'
• 'Don't you close your legs at me!' - Alix
• 'This is really like some dark pagan rictual now: drink the blood of the lemons from the sacred Rupert bowl!' - Alix
• 'I'm the Royal Dark Blood of the Lemons Queen. [.:] We.' - Alix
• 'Metaphysical poetry - there's probably a frog in there somewhere.'
• One fateful Chemistry lesson:
  • Lauren (To Swathi): I don't like you anymore.
  • Swathi (in reply): I don't care, I've got far cooler friends than you!
  • Lauren: Oh yeah? Who?
  • Swathi: Eleanor's cool!
  • (Both look at Eleanor, who has her head on the lab bench and is rocking back and forth on her stool whilst mumbling under her breath)
  • Both: *fall about laughing*
  • Eleanor: What?!
  • (Five minutes later, they manage to stop laughing long enough to explain.)
  • All: *fall about laughing*
• 'DLP = Dr Leoploradon' - Dabbs
• 'Nori, you are the personification of the third law of thermodynamics!' - James
• 'I feel utterly disconnected from my lower leg and foot'
• 'It's like mutual adoration, except it's really only one way.' - James
• 'I'm not a good person. I'm hungry.' - Emily
• 'THE BANK EATS PIZZA INSIDE OUT!'
• 'I must've picked up bad habits from somewhere... Now let me go and eat some pizza inside out.' - Nori
• 'Stop eating your pizza like a vortex.' - Dabbs
• 'You're like a cyclops in your mouth.'
• 'Das Mudderland. For cows.' - Alix
• 'If you drink, you die. If you do not drink, you die. So it is better to drink.'...'All Russians are born knowing one day they will die.' - Dabbs
• People:
  • 'That was so incredibly gay.'
  • Nori: 'I'm not gay!'
  • General populus: 'jkhdskajbfFLAIL'
• 'Do you have sex with the brain? ...In the eyes?' - text from Jane
• 'But I might die before I get to your age.' - Vivian to Frau Freelove
• 'I see you more as a Winston-Churchill-Cigar person...' - 'Emma sagte, sie rauche nicht' conversation, deciding on who would smoke what.
• 'I you pair of opera hats insane brothel!' - translation of Dabbs' french insult according to Jane's dictionary
• 'Train-wanking? How do you wank a train? I mean, how would you ever get your hand round it?' - Talya
• 'Don't look at me like that - I've got glasses on!' - James
• 'I looked again, and I saw a flying scroll!' - Kirsty
• 'Terrorist dynamics?!' - IthinkpossiblyaJess on mishearing
• 'Some people have 'love' and 'hate' on their knuckles. You have 'eating a snake in a tuba' and 'falling into a hole in my head'.'
• The variation in timbre on an oboe is minimal: you have squeaky and more squeaky. And occasionally sonorous.' - Corina
• 'Oh God. The Incestagon has become 3D.' - Jane
• 'I always thought 'get behind me Satan' was a positive phrase, y'know? Like, 'Hey, Satan! Could you back me up here?'...' - David
• '#Think of DLP in her office green/ If she knew she would scream...#' - EPIC musical free

Classics:

• 'PIE-tus, it doesn't hurt!'
• I sing of man and his arms...'
• 'Do not run. Heroes never run. They just wail and beat their thighs in anguish.' - Dabbs
• Classics class:
  • 'What did he have...?'
  • 'Magic cattle?'
  • 'Horses!'
  • 'The horses didn't have horns.'
  • 'Magic horses with horns? Unicorns!'
• 'No! This is how you grope boobs!'

'Isn't that the act of supplication?'

• 'I'm like her (Clodia), a slave to my appetites. Only I'm not a husky.' - James
• Sense:
  • Dabbs: 'Do bears shit in the woods?'
  • Nori: 'Have you never seen bear toilets?'
• 'Mrs Mac is MARRIED?!' - One stupid Nori
• 'Wally Hur!' - Dabbs
• 'Charybdis is the Nuu-nuu!' - Dabbs
• 'So, there's a Theban herdsman and a Corinthian herdsman...' - Mr Deane
• Oedipus: 'It must be Thursday.'
• Oedipus: 'Y SO SRS?'
• 'Okay, so imagine Boo from that Disney film being chased through a deep, dark forest, crying, chased by a mad axe-wielding murdurer... Now imagine Boo's head on a stick.' - Mr Deane
• 'You know like when... Have you ever taken a spoon and dug out the eyes of a sheep carcass, or...?' - Mr Deane
• On Oedipus starting to weep after gouging his eyes out: "that must sting." - Sadie
• Skills:
  • Dabbs: 'You know how to tie a noose?'
  • Nori: 'Doesn't every one? Besides, this isn't a proper one with the fancy bits.'
• 'You two are fighting like pandas in my lesson.' - Mr Deane, on Dabbs and I beating each other up amazingly gently.
• 'Romans rape, Greeks seduce.' - Mrs Mac

Gritaly:

• 'I was ordered to stay in, relax, have a bath... and what do you do? Tie a duck to my head!' - Alix
• 'Stupid question: (Nori,) are you a cane toad?' - Dabbs
• 'I HAVE LEGS!' - one very sleepy, leg-possessing Nori
• 'Wear trousers!' - Dabbs
• 'At least when I die I'll have teeth that shine in the dark!' - Dabbs
• 'This is just like that time when I was ridiculously overtired and you were a cane toad.' - Dabbs

FURY:

• It's a genius beyond comprehension... like your face. - LizBox, GOGI
• So, we've 'let it out', are we going to start calling it 'put it back in'?
• 'The FURY Inclusion Policy does not include my love life!' - Miriam, GA 2010
• ‘We are forgetting the 11th commandment: whereby ‘chocolate bourbons must be eaten at synod meetings’ – GOGI 2010
• ‘Jaffa cakes represent the Trinity, because they have three layers.’ – Hannah
• ‘Are you in the right state of mind to second this motion, as you do talk to biscuits...’ – GOGI 2010
• ‘This is Worthing. Anti-social behaviour = Sainsbury’s is out of hummus!’ – Ben
• ‘You’ve dated your way through the youth exec now you’re dating a tractor!’ - Canterbury
• ‘Take the time to experience God's forgiveness ...No.’ - Katie
• 'when Jesus rose from the dead, did he say "ooh, I made it by the skin of my teeth!"?' - CYDO Ruth
• On our radical worship ideas:
  • Someone: ‘I think we might kill some older members of the congregation.’
  • Elly: ‘Think of it as renewal of the church…’

General:

• 'It's not just religion you get stuffed down your throat here, y'know. You have to have food as well.' - Karen, on our Church
• Cleopatra's needle = 'Cleopatra's NaNo' - unfortunate November
• Cooking lesson from the morris: 'well, SR flour already contains flour and raising...'
• 'It's awful talking about you to people!'My Friend Nori. Is a... Nori. And is... Nori.' '
• 'There's Nori. And then second Nori is gender. And third Nori is sexuality. Nori is a noun, adjective and a verb.
• Alix's garden:
  • Nori: 'I've got a naked photo of Alix!'
  • Alix: '...you massive Nori.'
• 'STOP BUYING ALL THE YOUNG PEOPLE' - random shouting Greenbelter
• Toast parties:
  • 'Rohan, what happened to your socks?'
  • 'My heels got warm.'
• 'In Jenny's World everything is spinning!'
• 'you don't need to flourish the awkward cabbage!' - Alix
• 'I'm trying not to accelerate but trying to speed up!' - Katie, in a panic-filled car
• 'the dog is drinking Australia!' - Alix
• 'You know what, hot dogs are just really inbre(a)d puppies' - Nori
• 'DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH DEAD PEOPLE. THEY WON'T LOVE YOU BACK.' - Jane
• 'a lot of this stuff you can get in Ikea now, can't you?' - some other visitor at the V&A
• 'Fire, water, and SLIME - that's what the Earth's made of!' - small child