1/3/2026 Today on a drive I saw a sequence of license plates on passing cars, two in the same lane and one on the road going right - this is in a 4-way intersection (I will list the last digits since I don't remember the letters on the plates): ...6662, ...7773, ...8884.

1/4/2026 I'm moving back in with my mother after losing my job. My mother is manically depressed and doesn't work or leave the house anymore. So, as far as I can remember she's spent hours talking to herself and screaming...I tried to escape this and I'm upset, more than upset. Talking to her some days is like trying to listen to a broken record. Sometimes she hears me, sometimes she doesn't. And with this irritation comes this feeling like hopelessness. Maybe it will be different this time.

- Lately, I've found a fascination with the works of Michael Nostradamus, specifically his prophecies and prognostications. I'm hoping to find more out of his revelations than what commonly has been interpreted by doing my own studying. I cannot read Latin text but am working through Garencières' 1672 English translation.

-Everything I know and everyone I know will come to an end, and soon. The end is almost here and I don't know what to make of it. I want to live into my old age and I want to be further ahead in my life before the revelation comes. I want to get older and have a family, be somewhere in life..If I'm not watching or looking up, will I miss Him entirely? I almost wish I wasn't born into this generation, to witness the end. I cling to life and I'm not ready for death, I'm not ready to be judged.

1/5/2026 After everything I've contemplated about what life will be like during the seven years tribulation, I realized that this fear is coming from not knowing. It's not for any of us to know how God works. I just want everything to be okay, to know that all of the good people and children will not have to suffer. I care so much about what will become of us and this world that I'm forgetting to put my trust into Him.

- If the flood was meant to wipe out all of the evil and unrighteous creations on Earth, including the Nephilim, why are there still giants recorded throughout history down to even having found the last remaining ones in modern day Africa? How did the Nephilim survive?

1/6/2026 I thought I had a conversation with an angel during one of my prayers. It told me it's name is Samandriel. I don't know if I subconsciously remembered the character in 'Supernatural' or if this might be true..There's no proof in the text or anywhere of an angel with this name so I was just really sleepy I guess.

- I'm beginning to have many strange dreams with number sequences and places I have not been. My subconscious is telling me there is a place or perhaps knowledge I'm yearning for yet it's just past the cloud of imagination.

1/11/2026 John made me watch Evangelion after I specifically told him I don't like it and never want to see it. Then we went and binged the whole show and it wasn't what I expected really. I don't like watching anime with the exception of Death Note but this was actually really interesting. It doesn't start to get good until later in, that's how it keeps away alot of people he said.

1/14/2026 I've moved back in with John. Trying to work things out again and am really hopeful.

1/24/2026 I went out to an event today but haven't seen or talked to people in over two weeks. I felt an extreme social anxiety and fear of people today. I learned more about other people though in group discussions, I didn't say much at all but did well I think for not having talked for such a long time. John and I were separated because the idea was for us all to meet new people and keep moving tables. He is more social and enjoyed himself. I was close to a panic attack towards the end.