1/3/2026 Today on a drive I saw a sequence of license plates on passing cars, two in the same lane and one on the road going right - this is in a 4-way intersection (I will list the last digits since I don't remember the letters on the plates): ...6662, ...7773, ...8884.

1/4/2026 I'm moving back in with my mother after losing my job. My mother is manically depressed and doesn't work or leave the house anymore. So, as far as I can remember she's spent hours talking to herself and screaming...I tried to escape this and I'm upset, more than upset. Talking to her some days is like trying to listen to a broken record. Sometimes she hears me, sometimes she doesn't. And with this irritation comes this feeling like hopelessness. Maybe it will be different this time.

- Lately, I've found a fascination with the works of Michael Nostradamus, specifically his prophecies and prognostications. I'm hoping to find more out of his revelations than what commonly has been interpreted by doing my own studying. I cannot read Latin text but am working through Garencières' 1672 English translation.

-Everything I know and everyone I know will come to an end, and soon. The end is almost here and I don't know what to make of it. I want to live into my old age and I want to be further ahead in my life before the revelation comes. I want to get older and have a family, be somewhere in life..If I'm not watching or looking up, will I miss Him entirely? I almost wish I wasn't born into this generation, to witness the end. I cling to life and I'm not ready for death, I'm not ready to be judged.

1/5/2026 After everything I've contemplated about what life will be like during the seven years tribulation, I realized that this fear is coming from not knowing. It's not for any of us to know how God works. I just want everything to be okay, to know that all of the good people and children will not have to suffer. I care so much about what will become of us and this world that I'm forgetting to put my trust into Him.

- If the flood was meant to wipe out all of the evil and unrighteous creations on Earth, including the Nephilim, why are there still giants recorded throughout history down to even having found the last remaining ones in modern day Africa? How did the Nephilim survive?

1/6/2026 I thought I had a conversation with an angel during one of my prayers. It told me it's name is Samandriel. I don't know if I subconsciously remembered the character in 'Supernatural' or if this might be true..There's no proof in the text or anywhere of an angel with this name so I was just really sleepy I guess.

- I'm beginning to have many strange dreams with number sequences and places I have not been. My subconscious is telling me there is a place or perhaps knowledge I'm yearning for yet it's just past the cloud of imagination.

1/11/2026 John made me watch Evangelion after I specifically told him I don't like it and never want to see it. Then we went and binged the whole show and it wasn't what I expected really. I don't like watching anime but this was actually really interesting. It doesn't start to get good until later in, that's how it keeps away alot of people he said.

1/14/2026 I've moved back in with John. Trying to work things out again and am really hopeful.

1/24/2026 I went out to an event today but haven't seen or talked to people in over two weeks. I felt an extreme social anxiety and fear of people today. I learned more about other people though in group discussions, I didn't say much at all but did well I think for not having talked for such a long time. John and I were separated because the idea was for us all to meet new people and keep moving tables. He is more social and enjoyed himself. I was close to a panic attack towards the end.

2/16/2026 In another bout of no prayer or worship. How do I overcome this spiritual laziness? What if I never do? - I'm scared of talking to my mother. I don't know why but I can't bring myself to see or talk to her after so long..

3/4/2026 Just found out my best friend is a protester for something she didn't believe in years ago.. My best friend and I split off after graduation when she went to college and I chose not to. Since then she's met people that are so radical (anti-everything) and have completely changed her. Every time I talk to her, I feel us drifting apart in our dialogue,opinions,vocabulary, values... I wish we could understand each other again but there's so much hate and indifference politics instill in free thinking people that they stop thinking, they react. I miss her and wish she was the same person she used to be.

3/18/26 Two days ago when John and I went out to the cafe we had a chance encounter with a stranger whom came up and spoke to us. An older man who had disabilities yet spoke with repetition and conviction. He told us about all the things that had happened in his life. All these things he had to remember over and over after a serious brain injury. The man had no filter at all but spoke with a clean conscience and plainly with no motivation behind it. What will stick with me is how other people in the cafe made faces of disgust and shock at his honesty and his openness about God. We just listened to his story for awhile and blessed him a good day. Suddenly a snow storm hit us and wind was sweeping, all white and hard to see outside. It was the first time in my life where I was moved and loved a fellow stranger. In case no one else cares about him or remembers him, I want to remember his story.

4/7/26 I love the way the world sounds at night. Cars in the distance, the wind sweeping, the house quiet.

5/2/26 For the first time in my life as long as I've suffered with depression, I think I might finally get treated and taken to a doctor. Will medicine truly help or exaggerate my symptoms? Will I relapse or get addicted to antidepressants? There's much I don't know and have to research..

To follow up on that, I'm just trying to take care of myself the best that I can, without medication or pills.

5/16/26 Getting married but I am scared of the coming war, and wonder if we'll have the money to stock up on goods and also save up for the wedding. It's scary to think about what's to come but I need to reason with myself, and humble myself. Take care of the people around me who are going to be the most affected by the coming recession and war, and possibly virus. The less I strife now...maybe I can act with reason.

5/18/26 No dreams lately. Re-watching Supernatural from the start and it's funny to think that I forgot all the early episodes. You know that feeling when you see something again and you're re-experiencing it while also not knowing what comes next?

So, I should explain that there has been sufficient evidence to prove that the war is not coming to an end and it will be the start of a global war. Europe may go through a depression and America will at least now feel a recession and in the future possibly another great depression. Prices will continue to increase until things people need are entirely unaffordable or cease to be on the market (growing tariffs, fuel crisis halting the activity of trucks and ships, closed trade between foreign countries) Travel will be unattainable because of the price, fuel shortage being enough to close airports already. Fertilizer and soil for farmers has skyrocketed in price and will make living harder on those in rural areas or who rely on their crops. In the energy sector, the price of utilities will be demanding on anyone being affected by what is happening. And the quality of food at restaurants and fast food will change based on the supply chain of ingredients and shortage. None of this is to make us fear of of course but to prepare and discern the truth from deceiving sources. The people of this generation will know hardship and are blessed if they escape it.