- being worried about money and not purchasing books that I perfectly could've bought
- dropping out of ballet class because I was intimidated by my classmates and teacher
- finding inspiration by anime and thus not learning human anatomy properly
- getting dreadful layered haircuts and straightening my hair thinking it would look just as nice as it did on a Japanese person
- having a "dark" period and just looking/feeling awful, and mostly, not realising I had beautiful assets before my self esteem went to hell.
- listening to the bullies and not standing up for myself when I have the wit to do it just perfectly.
- not going to Javi's graduation
- not keeping my awesome handguides from eighth grade History class!
- not recording videos of my daily life when I was younger, to watch them in the future. The only ones I have are of me making weird voices, and I'd love to hear my real voice from then.
- not spending enough time with my English and Croatian great-grandmothers before they had Alzheimer's and died. I was too young to talk to my Croatian great-grandmother, but I'm told her stories were fantastic. Alas, my English wasn't good enough at that time to talk to my English great-grandmother with fluency.
- not taking enough books from the school library before I left AIS
- not taking pictures of places that are really meaningful to me, but are now part of the past - one that I recall all the time, with less accuracy that I wish for
- not taking up an instrument at an early age
- not urging my mother to change dentists earlier (I could have done without those years of mockery)
- not visiting Javi enough before she left to Japan
- painting my bedroom again, blacking out the beautiful faerie
- procrastinating so much and not putting effort into easy things
- thinking Leo disregarded me when she always thought good things about me. Paranoia literally made me sick.
- throwing out the pages of my diaries from first and second grade
- trying to fit in by attempting grown up things in sixth grade, when I was always meant to be myself instead and those people in my class were really hurtful and I had no reason to listen to them if they made me so sad.
jul 29 2012 ∞
sep 10 2018 +