• Hipsters

You wanna look cool and be percieved as unique–I get it, we all do. But putting on every neon-colored item at American Apparel and washing it all down with some over-sized glasses, cocaine, and hip electronica is not the way to go about it. I also really dislike how certain bands, movies, books, and brands are considered hipster just because these clones are attracted to them. Oh, and worst of all, no one these days can use an analogue camera without being labled as a hipster, just because of those douchbags' overly-proclaimed love of Polaroids.

• People Who Assume That Owning A Pricey Digital Camera Automatically Makes Them A Great Photographer

I don't care if you took a bunch of shots of carnations on setting that takes out every color except for the pink of the petals, your photos are boring. The opposite of this extreme is people who think that owning a really old/retro camera automatically makes them a really great artsy photographer. I love Lomography products and their effects and I use them religiously, but I know I'm nothing special when it comes to photography. It's just for fun. Seems like everyone's an artist, musician, or photographer these days.

• Picnik-ed Photos

LAME.

• When People Refer To The Shopping Carts At Target As "Buggies"

I seriously had never heard anyone say that before until I started working at Target and it just really repulses me for some reason. It just sounds so redneck.

• The World's Weird Obsession With Michelle Obama's Arms

I get it already! The woman is toned! Good for her!

• People Who Think Being Loud Is Synonymous For Being Funny

I've met and fantasized about bitch-slapping many a joker like this.

• Pretentious People

I've wanted to bitch-slap many of these assholes too. Time for some sub-points!

• The Ivy-League-er-They're educated. Good for them. They got said education from a reputable school. Double-good. They also seem to think that this automatically makes them a superior breed and prove themselves to be ironically retarded when it comes to social situations, thanks to their grammar-snobbery, unwanted hoity-toity wordy shpiels about various academic matters, and their blah-blah-blahs and yadda-yadda-yaddas that start with the dreaded phrase "Back when I was a lad at Princeton..." or "During my years at Brown..."
• The Holier-Than-Thou Religious Nut-Put down that beer and strap on your chastity belt, lest ye fall prey to a punishment far worse than Hell: The shun-the-sinner gaze of The Holier-Than-Thou Religious Nut. These headcases pay attention to everyone's sins but their own and are some of the most hypocritical and pretentious bastards out there. They yammer out unwanted sermons and force Scriptures on people to prove why said people are going to Hell, yet seem to forget the Bible's declaration that judgment is reserved for God and God alone and is in any other case a sin.
• The Frasier Crane Elitist-I love that show and its title character, but I've discovered that the world is not so kind about making jerks of this subtype so endearingly snooty as the character they're named for. These people have a love for the finer things in life and a supreme dislike for anything less than that and have a staunch belief that their preference is the right preference and anyone who thinks differently is clearly not as smart. Admittedly, I can be a bit like this at times.
• The Activist-Some activists have red paint as weapons, while others have eco-friendly bombs, and others opt to use picket-signs. Many of them, however, will harness the power of the Bitch Glare, and like the Holier-Than-Thou Religious Nut using it on a sinner, so The Activist uses the Bitch Glare on those who don't support their cause. Are you a meat-eater? A wearer of fur or leather? Perhaps you drive an SUV or wear cosmetics that have been tested on animals? Whatever the case, stay the hell away from The Activist and don't even think about dropping that gum wrapper on the ground when they're around.

I know a lot of those are kinda stereotypical, but having actually met people that embody these qualities, I'd say my stereotyping is justifiable.

• Actors That Think Being In Films Entitles Them To A Music Career

Bruce Willis, Lindsay Lohan, Steven Segal, Juliette Lewis, William Shatner, Keanu Reeves, Billy Bob Thornton, and EVERY SINGLE KID EVER TO APPEAR ON THE DISNEY CHANNEL!!! I swear, if Ashton Kutcher decides to put out an album, I'm gonna have to blow-torch my ear-drums. Oh, and let's not forget Corey Feldman's career as an accomplished musician, shall we?

• People Who Abbreviate Words When They Talk

I can tolerate all those abbreviations if you're talking to someone online (even though I still try to avoid them even then), but it sounds so stupid when you speak them. Shortening words doesn't make them cooler and if you do it seriously when speaking to someone, you sound friggin' ridiculous and in the words of some dumbass my sister went to school with, it's "totes inappropes." If you're unscathed enough to have never heard that term before, it translates from Idiot to English into "totally inappropriate."

• People Who Are Really Talented Or Cool But Are Total Assholes

These are the worst!!! They create all sorts of masterpieces through art, music, or literature, or have really rad style and tastes, or are everything you want to embody, except for that one little hitch: They're total ASSHOLES! You want to hate them, but you never completely can because how can you hate the person

inspiring you, creating the songs that cause you to dance and tap your feet, or writing the poems that make your heart soar?! You can't and these people know that, and therefore continue in their assholish ways.