- Babies or Children That Look Like Middle-Aged Men
- Funniest, most bizarre thing ever.
- Subdivision Names.
- They're always so ridiculously snooty. Some of my favorites:
- The Brass Lantern
- Princeton–It ain't just a college no mo'.
- The Georgetown Of Nashville
- The Estates Of Bon Brook
- Driving In Circles In Cul De Sacs
- It's late at night, you're driving around, and you're kinda hyper, and you've got some sort of song like "Time To Pretend" or "Wolf Like Me" on the stereo. So what do you do? You go to a cul de sac, turn the wheel as far as it'll go and hold it there, thus causing the car to revolve in a continuous circle. No clue why, but it never fails to make Madd and me laugh like hell every time.
- Joe Jonas
- It just seems to me like he's the weak link in the group. Sure the girls go nuts for him, but other than that, what's he doing there? Nick and Kevin play guitar, Nick does most of the writing and seems to do most of the singing as well. Joe just cartwheels and high-kicks his way across the stage, strutting around and frantically shaking a tambourine like an old lady trying to fend off a mountain lion by shaking a can of pebbles in its face, and occasionally delivers a vocal in true Jonas style–So strained and squeezed out that he might as well be a woman in labor. That boy just cracks me up.
- When People Tack the Word "Ass" Onto the End Of Random Words
- "You are a dumb-ass, stupid-ass, stank-ass bitch!" How can you not laugh at that?!
- Lifetime Original Movies
- Usually the titles alone are enough to make me laugh. Par exemple:
- Baby For Sale
- My Stepson My Lover
- A Dad For Christmas
- Little Kids Throwing Tantrums
- It's impossible for me not to look when these incidents occur, and more often than not, I end up having to bite back many a laugh.
- Romance Novel Titles
- I have to ring these up at work, and I always have to look at the title and repeat it to myself so I don't forget it. And they always seem to be super-fixated on nationality! Some great ones I've had to ring up:
- The Spaniard's Virgin Housekeeper
- The Italian's Ruthless Marriage Bargain
- The Greek's Million-Dollar Baby Bargain
- Middle-Aged Mom Flicks
- You know the type of movies I'm talking about–the name's pretty self-explanatory. They're those types of movies that try to be young and chick-flicky but with a bit more depth, but nonetheless, you can see still see the grey roots screaming "Let me be young!" under its obvious and metaphorical dye-job. It's the type of film you just know that flocks of women ages 35 and up travel in packs to the theaters to see, and will probably get together in a few months to watch it when it airs on Lifetime.
- Overhearing The Wrong Snippets Of People's Conversations At The Right Time.
- I love when this sort of thing happens–You're walking through a crowd of people, talking to a friend, and right as you pause for a moment, you wind up hearing some ridiculous snatch of some stranger's conversation.
- Like this one time when me, Maddy, and our Dad walked out of a restaurant in Cleveland, only to hear a rather awkward-looking middle-aged man say to his friend, in the tone of one who's finally found someone to understand him, "I know! I hate it when women don't want to kiss me!" Dad: "Well, I can see why!"
- Or the time when Madd and me were walking around Rhode Island with our Grandma Barbara and heard some guy gesturing frantically as he baffledly said to his girlfriend "And I just don't know whether to call him Bill, or...or William...or...or...whatever!"
- And then there was this one time I was sitting in my car using the internet in a McDonald's parking lot when this group of frat boy bro-types sauntered out and one of them said "I mean, your lips were pretty much on Derek's dick!"
- Turning Down The Volume During Anime Shows And Narrating Them As Though They Were A Dramatic Novel.
- Cowboy Bebop is prime for this.
- Spanish soap operas work fantastically too.
- Horror Movie Titles
- Madd and me always get a good laugh whenever we're in the horror section of video stores. B movies tend to have the most fantastic titles. My favorites:
- Santa's Slay
- Gary Busey is...The Gingerdead Man!
- Mexican Werewolf In Texas
- The Nun: Not All Water Is Holy
- Uncle Sam: I Want You...Dead!
- How Every Single Disney Star Seems To Wind Up On Law and Order
- Seriously though. Everyone from Lizzie McGuire Dad to Phil Of The Future to Lizzie McGuire herself has been on there.
- Also the Fallout Boy Guy was on there, which I thought was pretty hilarious.
- Same with when Bob Saget was on there.
may 11 2009 ∞
may 20 2009 +