- A dryer snow fell last night, the usual wispy, blown about kind that wyoming is famous for.
- Out to get Fire wood with DaddyDaddy this morning, whenever he shows up...
- After that it is GWGG, a letter to Tara, an Art Buddy Packet to Taylor, more cheese, Kraut Buns, and endless amounts of Sigur Ros.
- The boy toy is back in town and I am not entirely sure how I feel about that. I would love to have someone dear to me, which he is...but we don't connect as good friends. Perhaps that needs to happen. Not even perhaps...
- I saw a raven purched in the Cottonwood tree outside my house yesterday when i went out yo work, it was perfectly framed in this hollow of branches and the moon was bright against the blue sky just up to the right, such a picture. I'll paint it or draw it and sent it to Taylor. And Tara.
- My dearest friend is in such need of companionship it hurts to read her letters. She is practically begging me to come there and stay. An e-mail today sounded quiet, a little regretful... maybe that is the wrong word. I could tell she was re-playing the last few months in her mind and including me and some of her other friends who are doing just what she is... looking for themselves.
- Not so out on her own against the world thing...
- That is her though, she is so wonderfully spur of the moment. Deliciously Passionate about adventure and extremes. I love it, she inspires me with her intense life force and love, i miss her so much.
- When I think of all these women that I feel I can't live without, who enrich my life so much it overwhelms me with affection for them... I sometimes wonder what all the women in the world do without connections like mine. When I forget about the whole Cinderella complex that women have now I can honestly say that I am fulfilled completely with the female connections I have already. I crave the sexual gratification that men offer, but I feel such intense love for these women in my life that it seems silly to think any man could come close to offering me that kind of love, security, inspiration, passion, laughter, motivation, supernatural awareness, self discovery, travel, beauty...the list goes on and on. Perhaps I shouldn't even be looking, that is silly of me. We live in the present moment, that is what we have. And if I am enjoying myself, no matter who it is with, why am I telling myself that I crave the perfect man?
- Cinderella Complex
- I think it's the newness of it, the classic Romantic in me that wants the fairy tale bit for poetic justice.
- My life is a career of searching out and manifesting poetic justice
- And by that I mean creating the classic life/image that the world is so convinced we cannot have any more, that no longer exists... true love, self sustained living, peace. I crave the conquering of negative and stagnent ideas. I long for a life (that i have) of intense color and light and magic and love.
- And that is where the classic Romantic idea of love comes in. The perfect man to waltz (literally) into my life, sweep me off my feet and whisk me away to far off adventures before making a home of perfect love and peace.
oct 8 2009 ∞
oct 10 2009 +