I saw you two nights ago, at formals. You look good. I miss you so much. I got excited. I didn't talk to you at all. I really wanted to, of course. But I didn't. I saw you first when 1) you came in with Nathan, 2) you were pledging all of the other pledges in the dark, and 3) you were with a girl. I don't think that being with a girl meant anything. I think. But I know for sure it scared me away.

And 4) I was walking down the stairs while you and Nathan were going up the stairs and we passed by each other. I said hello. I think you both said hello. I wasn't drunk although I had been drinking and so I think I used that to pretend like I ... was too drunk to talk to you? I know you probably think I'm sloppy now but I really don't want to talk to you.

I miss you way too much.

I wonder if you think about me too.

I know we are both so busy with everything. I'm sure you are busy with new people (or old, if we're being honest). And I don't know why it bothered me today but I'm sure you are so in love with your best friend that I could never even compete with her. I'm not even jealous, it's just a known fact.

I don't even know why I'm so sad when I know we could never really be together. You still have two-three years left ahead of you and I'm basically finished... But I just wanted us so badly. Even just for one year. I just wanted us to go to formals together and be a couple. You were so kind and I don't know where that went.